Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Breathe, Apr 16, 2009.

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  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I have been on the forum for a few weeks and i was on this by another name for a year but i don't want to bring that past forwards. I am using this site in a seek for answers that trouble my mind, i hope you can help (if you have seen my threads already, thank you to those who have helped already)

    I am 16, a college student in Leicester, England half way in completion of a BTEC NATIONAL in uniformed Public Services. My name is Kat and i hope to be a paramedic.

    I am a depressed, on accasion suicidal and self harmer. I have never allowed this obession with cutting oneself to get to the point of doctors attention and i have never been sucessful in killling myself. I am currently going to seek help with my doctors, and my worst fear is ending up with arms full of scars.

    I guess my nature how to deal with this is kinda strange to me, in all truth. for weeks or days i could be my usual self happy, hyper, flirting with my mates and making sexual puns lol (i am described as the Captain Jack (from doctor who/torchwood) in my group). Once in a while i am depressed, suicidal, self harming. i withdraw from human contact and until i self harm i continue withdrawing and crying. cutting oneself can be addictive can't it? lol. my parents found out quite a while ago, tore down my sleeve and went mental. i went cold turkey for a few months but where it cut, got annoyed with my weakness and stayed off it for a few more months then i hit a rough patch till i now cut somewhat frequently only small cuts, enough to go unnoticed.
    This behavior has led me to have somewhat of a double personality but not in a disorder of some kind but where i can switch between them like a light switch. One where i am happy, the other where i withdraw; my world is of black and white. :unsure::blink:

    So...Hello and i hope we can be of help to each other. :smile: :laugh:
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Hey Kat, welcome to the site.

    Yeah, cutting can be very addictive. Once you start, it's like any other addiction ... it's extremely hard to stop. But it's possible!!
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    welcome x
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Kat welcome to the forum!! I hope you get the support you are seeking..
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Kat. I am glad you decided to come back. i wish you luck in reaching your goals as a paramedic. :hug:
  6. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome (back) to the boards Kat.

    :hug: Claire xx
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome back to the forums.
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend


    welcome (back) to s.f.

    i hope you find tons of support here - :hug:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :)
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