Discussion in 'Welcome' started by plshelpme, Nov 13, 2010.

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  1. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    hey guys

    i'm new here...i've been struggling with depression and suicide for about 10 years on and off...very few people know about it (my two best friends, and 4 other really close friends...my family has NO IDEA)...i hide it well...but sometimes it gets exhausting pretending to be happy all the time...

    i just moved to a new place, alone, to start medical school...it's been 3 months, and the ppl here are great...but they have no idea, and it's prolly too soon to tell anybody without scaring them...

    i've found myself, lately, in a worst place (in terms of mental health) than i've ever been...and it's really bad timing cuz i have nobody to turn to (except therapist) and nobody who is watching out for me (to make sure i don't do something stupid, and to make sure i eat, cuz i don't have an appetite)...i constantly think about xxxxx...i've thought about suicide for a very long time, and have gone thru so many different scenarios, but never one so violent and full-proof...it scares me...i want these thoughts out of my head...i live alone and it would be SO easy...

    also, considering starting medication...terrified of it (b/c i know too much about it...med school sucks for that reason)...terrified of how i'll react to it, and terrified that there will be no support for me to get through a negative reaction...also, i'm at the end of my wits...if the meds don't work, idk what the hell i'm gonna do...

    so i guess i'm here, looking for ppl who understand me, and can help me get thru the tough days...

    right now, i'm gonna try and overcome one of my symptoms - the inability to concentrate/focus - so that i can MAYBE pass this stupid exam...

    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  2. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Hiya, Im new too. I agree about too much knowledge!! (nurse)

    Good luck with med school, hope you can learn to cope with it xx
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Stress and seperation are things that really do test the system...I understand you hesitancy to tell ppl about your suicidalilty, however, maybe you can phrase it in a way, to communicate that you are feeling down without putting it all on the table...that way you will get support...please cotinue to post here and let us know how you are doing and good luck on your test...J
  4. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. I hope you can find some sort of help here.
  5. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    thank you guys!

    it's good to know (and also unfortunate) that there's people out there who understand my disease (or my demons, as i like to call it)...
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums!! You came to the right place to have people to listen to you.. Most of us have been down that path and some of us are still on that path..
  7. DeepEmz

    DeepEmz Well-Known Member


    Welcome to SF.
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