Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by -Im.z2ight-, Dec 20, 2010.

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  1. -Im.z2ight-

    -Im.z2ight- Member

    I just registered on this forum as I am in the need of some help.

    My best friend is a girl and Im a guy. I totally love her with all my heart and I dropped everything I had going for me to help her with her situation. She has been getting better but of recent something came up and I stopped wanting to date her. We started to fight a lot now and that is all we do because I don't please her every need as I did back when I wanted to be with her.

    About 3 weeks ago we had our first big fight EVER. That night I went in the kitchen and xxx for about 10 minutes and then I cut my other leg. The pain helped me calm down for about 2 hours and then I started to get angry again. I feel that cutting myself is only a gateway to bigger things.

    We have xxxx in my house and I had it out that night. I was very close xxxx my life but I didn't. We ran xxx awhile back and haven't xxx until my uncle went to the range this past week. I'm concerned that next time I loose it with her I might just xxxx.

    It feels like she doesnt care about me.
    Last thursday night she made a promise we would chat on friday night.
    On friday night come to find out she ditched me for another guy.
    She chose some dude over ME!
    Its been about 3 days or so and I have been depressed since that day.

    Tonight it got really bad because on facebook she posted a picture with her and the other guy. She is talking to him but has ignored me since last thursday.

    I feel as she is choosing him over me and it makes me pissed off.
    I was pacing back and forth right now and a friend called me concerned. She talked to me for a bit and that was enough until I got off the phone and I started to become consumed in anger again.

    I want to die.... somehow... I fall asleep every night to the thoughts of just xxxx and dying.

    I really need some help/advice.
    A friend suggested professional help but I can't afford it.
    This is just about my last resort before I kill myself.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2010
  2. luka

    luka Active Member

    hey man, first id like to say welcome to the forums and im ehre to help and support you all the way

    it seems like the reason this all started was because you stopped dating her, and now a chain of events has happened, you did what you felt was right for you, sometimes you gotta just think about yourself and no1 else and you did that, and now shes making you feeel awful for it, my answer is DONT FEEL AWFUL

    theres no point killing or hurting yourself over a girl, it aint worth it

    wouldnt you rather be her friend then not being her friend at all?

    she would feel the same way about you!

    she would never want you to hurt yourself let alone killing yourself, imagine what her life would be like without you by her side? with your lfei to the fullest and dont let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.

    like most girls shes probably tring to make you jealous, and she is, i know those types of girls, they want attention, call her and meet up with her and talk it out, its the best thing you can do :)

    she posted a picture with another guy on facebook, its probably nothing

    im sure she has pictures of you and her and of course some other guys, dont over think the situation.

    you know when i was in high school, i liked a girl for 5 years and she kept rejecting me..i felt awful, she played around with em and made me feel like shyt...i wanted to cut myself but couldnt bring myself to do it.

    since then ive grown and its given me so much freedom, im still friends with her and its great, knwoing a had a friend for so long

    please reply with some updates, i wana hear alla bout it man =]
  3. -Im.z2ight-

    -Im.z2ight- Member

    We were never dating just really GREAT friends.

    ;\ She just messaged me on facebook and I removed her.

    I dont want her out my life but that seems like the best thing to stop my pain.

    Atleast remove her until I can stand again. Right now I attempt to stand and I fall. I am driving myself insane.
  4. luka

    luka Active Member

    i think you shoudl add her back, im thinking that shes already missind you and she definitly wants to talk to you about the situation, the only way this is gonna get resolved is if you tlka about it

    like you said you dont want her out of your life, then dont let her out of your life, keep her in your circle, she pm'ed you so she really must want to talk to you and cares about you, give her the opportunity to talk to you, give yourself the opportunity, imagine looking back 20 years from now and thinking "what if i talked to her"

    you stand and fall? you picked yourself back up, life gives you sh*t, you fight it, its about what you do when the situation gets tough, it reveals what kind of a person you are and your a winner :)
  5. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Maybe the best thing to do is to find something you really don't like about her,not hate,just something she does that annoys you and focus on that.
    Replay it in your mind instead of letting something deeper trigger you.
    Trivialize her.
    Trivialize your connection to her.
    I know this advice is not worth much but you seem pretty torn up and in the hold of anguish.You write like a man in a very real place,while she reads as someone inhabiting somewhere artificial.

    Don't let your feelings pull you under,they will not go away for quite some time,but you have to fight them.It is important that you do not pick up a gun or a knife,you cannot afford to place any power into these objects at this time.Do not use them,they cannot benefit you in any way.

    It seems pretty clear looking in from the outside that you should override any of the other factors involved that do not relate o your immediate wellbeing.
    Drop the weight of all complications,they are taking this situation from your mental into your physical.

    It would be a good move to start working back out from the corner,to start freeing up the space needed to realize that you are the important one in all the decisions you now have to start making.

    Spare no thought for anyone else,stop thinking about how you fit into her situation.Start thinking about how you fit into yours.
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    if you start to feel bad again you should call the suicide hotline. consider it an emergency. they will help you get through it. you don't have to fight this alone.

    your reactions are overwhelming you. a good therapist can help you with that. but that's for down the road, when you are not in a crisis. for now look up the number of your local hotline and put it in your phone. (they will be listed in the front of the phone book, or there is a list here in the crisis forum, it is a sticky at the top of the page).
  7. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    dazzle11215 is spot on.
  8. jimmy88

    jimmy88 Well-Known Member

    Piece of advice...

    I chased a chick for a year. We worked together so I had to see her fairly often and worse I "knew" I'd see her fairly often. I feel head over heels like a lovesick schoolboy and thought she was my female counterpart. In hindsight she just played games with my emotions but in that state I accepted these things and wanted her anyway. Now I don't work and haven't seen her in a while and honestly don't care. I was blinded by my own ideal image of her and I only think about her on occasion without much negative feeling. My advice is to make a decision in your head that she's out of your life. Grab your jock, be a man and take a stand. Sounds a little insensitive but this is the mentality that'll pull you out of your funk. Then you can start to pursue other chicks because this one won't be such a presence in your mind.
  9. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    first try to fix your problems, before helping her with hers. it's about you now, and you have to realize that if you're in pain because of her, ignore her for a while, and then when it gets better think about hanging out with her again. but first, take care of yourself.
  10. -Im.z2ight-

    -Im.z2ight- Member

    When we talk about how I am feeling it always turns into something else. Another arguement or something else. I am always wrong when we disagree and if I don't apologize we continue to fight.

    I wrote her a letter a few weeks ago and it did nothing to faze how she acts. Only thing it did was have her keep more secrets and things from me.

    She sent me a text today when I logged off MSN after she sent me a message. I couldn't bare to talk to her today. I finally had a good day!

    I went to watch Tron in Imax and I went bowling with friends. I had a good day and night minus me almost getting ran over twice.

    Is it wrong of me to be selfish and want to have a good day for once? I am always putting people before myself and I give WAY WAY too much.

    I need a little advice, I am beginning to feel like total crap after she sent me the text.

    Please any opinion.
  11. Infortunatus

    Infortunatus Guest

    I don't know where you live but in most civilized parts of the world you can find free counseling or community mental health clinics that will provide services for little or nothing, if you don't have health insurance or the money to pay.
  12. -Im.z2ight-

    -Im.z2ight- Member

    Well I tried talking to her and all that I got was shut down.

    She continued to destroy me last night.

  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    don't give her all the power.

    take care of yourself, first. you are the most important thing here.
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