hey everybody ~
I'm a 22 year old Canadian woman living with Bipolar disorder, diagnosed when I was 15 and again when I was 19. I tried to kill myself when I was 16, but survived, and from then on I made a promise to myself to never try to do that again. As the years pass, it gets more and more difficult as my life changes. I've pushed away a lot of the support I've had over the years, and the past year or so it's become a lot more difficult to weather the downs. Last week I took acid with my longtime friend, and she came out of the closet to me, confessing her love and desire for intimacy with me. I'm currently already in a relationship, and was as high and crazy as she was at the time, and was unable to give her a meaningful response, only rejection. We have only spoken a little bit since then, and she's going back to university soon, so I fear I've burned another important bridge. I'm sad, and determined not to kill myself, but I feel that thudding voice inside me lately repeating "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself." I'm glad I found this forum, maybe I'll be able to help some people, maybe I'll feel some meaning creep back into my life sooner than if I just sit playing Pokeman all day.
I know it'll get better, but it's hard to weather the storms alone. So, hello! Nice to meet you all. :Jehuty:
I'm a 22 year old Canadian woman living with Bipolar disorder, diagnosed when I was 15 and again when I was 19. I tried to kill myself when I was 16, but survived, and from then on I made a promise to myself to never try to do that again. As the years pass, it gets more and more difficult as my life changes. I've pushed away a lot of the support I've had over the years, and the past year or so it's become a lot more difficult to weather the downs. Last week I took acid with my longtime friend, and she came out of the closet to me, confessing her love and desire for intimacy with me. I'm currently already in a relationship, and was as high and crazy as she was at the time, and was unable to give her a meaningful response, only rejection. We have only spoken a little bit since then, and she's going back to university soon, so I fear I've burned another important bridge. I'm sad, and determined not to kill myself, but I feel that thudding voice inside me lately repeating "I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself." I'm glad I found this forum, maybe I'll be able to help some people, maybe I'll feel some meaning creep back into my life sooner than if I just sit playing Pokeman all day.
I know it'll get better, but it's hard to weather the storms alone. So, hello! Nice to meet you all. :Jehuty: