Just a quick post to introduce myself, I'm a girl in my early 20's, been feeling suicidal on and off from pretty most of my life actually . It comes and goes. Sometimes I'm okay for a really long time. Like a year. Every time the suicidal urges come back, they are stronger. I have been hospitalized a few times but that was some years ago. There have been a few suicides in my family, maybe I just have bad genes. Lately I can't stop thinking about suicide. I can't find a reason to live. Trying to find one. Would love to use the chat rooms since I stay up at night smoking and thinking thoughts that I really shouldn't be thinking. I can't get in though, I guess coz I just registered tonight . Anyway, hi everyone, hope you are all having a decent day/night.