After 5 years of happiness she left me, saying she needs to "work on yourself and her problems." She went on a trip and made out with another guy and has feelings for him apparently, but keeps telling me she doesn't want to enter a relationship with anybody right now. She was and still is the love of my life, I'm a very lonely guy and she was my best friend and love, who made me want to rise every morning just waiting to see her. I sacrificed a lot for her, I gave up some of my interests early in our relationship because I wanted to make it work and she has followed her passions and is moving on. She keeps telling me that I need to get out in the world and meet new people, other girls and flirt and have fun, but all I tell her is that I only want her. All I do now is wake up, go to work and think about killing myself for 8 straight hours, then I come home curl up in bed and cry. I barely eat, I have no energy or desires to do anything anymore accept die. But, I'm conflicted about killing myself because I know it would hurt her, she would be guilt ridden for the rest of her life and be in pain, and I couldn't cause her pain. I'm seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist and have been put on medication, for my depression and frequent panic attacks, but all I do is stare at the meds, (effexor, lorazpam and ambiem) and just want to overdose and die. I can't bare the thought of her with anybody else, but I also can't bare the thought of hurting her by killing myself. I have worked the rationale in my head about my suicide, I want to quit life, you can quit anything else in the world, why is it wrong to want to quit life? I am not happy and loathe the thought of moving on, so why can't I end it and be out of pain? I want to win her back somehow, but I now it is a futile effort, so I see no reason to go on. I have no friends in the world (I'm not being facetious I really have very little contact with anybody) and I have not imperative to live. I pray she will come back and realize her mistake, I did anything and everything to try and please her and keep her happy, but it was not enough. I can't take the pain anymore.