Hi, 2 years later, I'm still the same.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bak8976, May 25, 2012.

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  1. bak8976

    bak8976 Member

    I wrote that 2 years ago, almost to the date. I still have suicidal feelings, still miss her horribly. I think I've actually gotten worse in the time I've been alone, while I've even had another relationship, it was so unfilling that it has just left me numb. I have no desires left, I do stupid things, I've abused my body of the last 2 years (those wonderful lorazpam, klonopien, valium, ambien, lunesta and whatever other pill I could get) and no just really have no desire to live. I can't keep going through this world numb to everything and wanting to die, someone here, can you help? Maybe how I can think of moving on? What do you do when you have nothing left? Please.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Been there and it was a good 4 years before I suddenly woke up and realised if they walked through the door I'd slam it in their face.

    No magical cure, I'm afraid.
    Anti depressants help to take the edge of, as does burying yourself in work, hobbies and friends.
    And being able to talk it out is a real help.

    pm me if you need to vent.
     
  3. bak8976

    bak8976 Member

    Thanks I really just get incredibly depressed anf lonely it makes it tougher to be like this. B
     
  4. Gimiq

    Gimiq Well-Known Member

    I went nuts after my fiancee left me. I had never loved anyone before her. After she left me I proceed to destroy my life. I have dug a whole only god could get me out of. My life has just started to be rebuilt. I know I may never find the love I want and at times it makes cyanid look tasty. The thing helped the most was well doing everything I could to forget her. Even now I do not open the memory of her.
     
  5. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Do you really really believe that those psychologist and psychiatrist can help you? Or maybe medical drugs can change reality? Now two years later you know the truth. You have a problem with reality. Psychologist , psychiatrist and drugs cannot change reality. Reality will not change. It is you who has to change. One way or another....
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Steven is actually correct. Psychiatrists and drugs are okay just as is an asprin when you have a headache... but when you continually have headache's, asprin after asprin does not really cure the root cause of the problem. You can hide it, mask it, make it go away for a while (which is good because it helps make it easier to focus on the real issues), but as Steven said... the real change must come from within yourself.
     
  7. bak8976

    bak8976 Member

    I have a very tough tone forgetting her because I had to move back to where I was always with her and am afraid ill see her somewhere and I lose my mind. I work an extremely unfulfilling job, live on a cot in a ratty basement and really have no friends in my area. I have an extremely addictive personality and think I may be addicted to the Internet and more specifically porn just because I have nothing to do with my life. I'm finishing college and losing my mind about that and the fear of being an adult with no direction in life. Also I have incredible self confidence issues, I'd love to make the voices in my head from stopping tell me what a pos I am and how I just deserve to die. I have friends and family who care, so I realize my luck, I just still feel completely alone. Like there is really no point because I wish I had the love back, I'd give up everything. I also think I really need to get some help simply because I have frequent panic attacks and some auditory halucenations again, which is scary. I am just numb to the world I have no interests in things I used to love and my life is pointless. I need something.
     
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