I wrote that 2 years ago, almost to the date. I still have suicidal feelings, still miss her horribly. I think I've actually gotten worse in the time I've been alone, while I've even had another relationship, it was so unfilling that it has just left me numb. I have no desires left, I do stupid things, I've abused my body of the last 2 years (those wonderful lorazpam, klonopien, valium, ambien, lunesta and whatever other pill I could get) and no just really have no desire to live. I can't keep going through this world numb to everything and wanting to die, someone here, can you help? Maybe how I can think of moving on? What do you do when you have nothing left? Please.