Hi. A new member here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Misfit, Jun 3, 2010.

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  1. Misfit

    Misfit Member

    Hi.

    I've decided to join this forum because, to be honest, I don't know what else to do. I feel as if my head is going to explode from the never-ceasing storm of thoughts, memories, rants, condemnations etc that plague me throughout the day. I guess I'm hoping a neutral outlet for all the crap in my head will quiet it down a little.

    I might as well be honest and blunt: I'm 99% sure I'm going to kill myself in the next year or so. That 1% leaves room for some sort of momentous event that's a real catalyst for major changes in my life (obtaining a huge sum of money to buy a new life, for example, or getting the funding to make a feature length film [add me to the list of aspiring film makers toiling at the bottom of the industry ladder]). If something like that happens then I'll carry on living, otherwise I can pretty much guarantee I'm going to seek an end for my shitty life.

    I'm under no illusion that my life is The Worst One Ever. I know that right now there's millions of people on the planet enduring greater ordeals than what I have to go through. None of that stops me absolutely hating just about every aspect of my life - I did not ask for this life and it makes me so ****ing angry that I have to endure it.

    It was about three years ago that I was 'broken'. A relationship turning bad was the catalyst, with someone I loved a lot doing some really awful things that broke my head and my heart. On top of this so many terrible things happened in the space of a short few months that even I would struggle to believe them if I listed them all. Since then I've done therapy and medications and it hasn't changed a thing. I become a little sadder, angrier, lonelier and withdrawn every day. I don't care about anything. I want out.

    I guess I should stop now before this turns into a novella. Thank you for letting me get this all out of my head at least.
     
  2. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Hey Misfit

    Sorry to hear you are feeling broken :/

    I have found this to be a great place to vent, find some support, some people to relate to and it also helps to distract me from thinking too much.

    Welcome to SF :hug:

    Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat :)
     
  3. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    Welcome! I'm Shelbi :D If you need anything at all, I'm almost always on chat. I also have msn and skype, and you are more than welcome to pm me.

    I honestly hope that event to change your mind happens soon.
     
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    :hiya: Hello Misfit, I hope you find the support and help you need here, my pm is always open, please take care and look after yourself.

    Rich
     
  5. Brandon

    Brandon Well-Known Member

    welcome to sf
     
  6. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    :welcome: to SF Im only a PM away if you ever want to chat xxx
     
  7. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Welcome to sf misfit
     
  8. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Hi Misfit. I hope you are able to find the support you need here.

    I would like to say, therapy is slow as watching grass grow. I've been in therapy for a bit over a year (this time) and i've bearly scratched the surface. So i understand the frustration. I am far from patient. But i just have to trust in the process.

    I hope you don't dismiss therapy and medication as a possibility in your future.

    Once again, welcome to SF.
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Misfit.. You can vent all you want here.. We will listen and offer what support we can..
     
  10. Misfit

    Misfit Member

    Thank you for all your welcomes and reading the ranting mess that pours out of my brain. I slept a little better last night and it only took an hour rather than several hours to doze off so I think getting some of the 'poison' out of my head actually did help.
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi welcome your right getting the thoughts out of ones head does help so keep venting okay it is allowed here people here understand:hugtackles:
     
  12. zspagjetty

    zspagjetty Member

    You can say whatever you want to say here to release the pain in your brain... you can message me me anytime to support both ways..
     
  13. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. All you need is that 1% chance to hang on to. I hope it gradually increases so your odds of living get better over time. I look forward to seeing you more around the forum. :shake:
     
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