hi all, i'm still here

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tenholehweels, Jun 23, 2011.

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  1. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    But i have a problem.

    As i have indicated before i have a very difficult situation, which has
    just gotten weirder.

    My wife left me for another man 7months ago, and i have been so sad
    and devastated that it pushed me to an attempt that very nearly worked.

    Well now for the new situation, someone out of my past found out that
    i am separated and has called me an indicated she has always had a thing
    for me,i mean so much so that she told me she couldn't think about anything
    but being with me for a long time, and now that she knows i'm separated she
    wants to be with me.

    I have told her everything that has happened even the attempt,but she is
    still very interested.
    only thing even though i admit i am feeling really good about myself there
    is the lingering thought in my mind that even though my wife cheated and
    left me and is still with the man she left me for that i still love her and i'm
    feeling like its cheating.

    I know this woman makes me feel alive and happy but is it wrong to feel
    this way? i know that this will keep me alive but am i only doing it to

    I'm very confused and i know that there probably isn't a right answer
    but any advice is greatly appreciated.

  2. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    The question is: Do you want to feel alive and happy? Or do you want to feel how you felt before this woman reappeared?

    What does your love to your wife really mean...to you...and to your life?

    It’s not about right or wrong. Rather, it’s about what you really want. It's understandable that feelings don't just change overnight, but it's wise to appreciate what one does have NOW instead of holding on to what is no longer there or something hopeless...

    Then again, only you know what you really want...

    Sometimes humans could be blind when miracles happen…
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I say go for it.. Your wife left you not the other way around..In time you will forget anything about her..This woman sounds like she wil listen to you and help guide you down a positive path.. Just don't keep talking about your wife.. That is a major turn off..
  4. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Hello tenholehweels,

    Your wife cheated on you but you still love her, that is normal as she left and not you - you will obviously want her, you will be thinking of her but deep inside you you know that you can't her back and also you don't want her back after all.

    I think you should take this new opportunity, everything that occurs happens for a reason, this woman is interested in you - with your ex-wife maybe you just didn't match at least in her eyes whereas this woman is interested in you and you seem to also be interested in her - why don't you arrange to meet up with her to also see how you will feel?
  5. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    I have arranged a meeting on 4th of July weekend.

    She is kinda far from me well not to bad about 90 minutes.

    I am nervous about it but its just after being with the same woman
    20yrs this feels weird.

    I will admit its kind of a fate thing though, this woman eerily reminds
    me at least physically of my wife.

    But i'm gonna go for it, so i'm hoping for the best.

    Thank you all for my life. i was really teetering there.

  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If there is no hope in reconciling with your wife with getting therapy then one has to move forward Take it slow okay as you are still suffering from the trauma of you wife leaving you. Ihope all works out for you hugs
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I bet it would feel strange as you had been with your ex wife for so long. I would try to move your life on as much as possible because I think with a lot of marriage breakups people sit dwelling on what they lost for so long that they forget to move forward. This new lady still likes you a lot even though you have been through the mill and is still stcking by you. Id say go for it. It may or may not work out but it gets you moving forward. Nothing will replace what you lost but you can look forward to what you have to gain in the future.
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