Hi.. never been good at introductions but I'll give it a go.. I'm a 35 year old guy who suffers from depression and what my doctors call a general psychosis (in other words they can't figure out exactly whats wrong and give me a dignosis). Why I'm here... just lonely I guess, I have no friends and only one family member still speaks to me, only people I get to talk to are my carers and a monthly doctors visit. Suicidal feelings come and go for me, I wish I could end it all but my one family member keeps me going, I don't want to hurt them and they've made it clear my death would do just that and I believe them. Been going through a rough patch since I got out of hospital last, the ECT's and new and improved pills haven't been helping me much and its harder to cope everyday. Hoping maybe being here will help a bit, maybe even get to know some people who know what its like to live how I feel right now, wishing a hole would open in the earth and swallow me whole. Just feel so cornered and trapped, is this how the rest of my life is going to be? Scared, lonely and wishing I hadn't even been born? Sorry for venting and being so miserable, seems for years now the only times I'm happy and not wishing I wasn't here is when I'm in the hospital psych ward, just wish that feeling of being safe and not being alone extended to my outside life.