Hello all, well i didn't expect to find myself here. Not sure If I should be pouring this out in the introduction thread, anyways, I'm sure admin will put it to the right area if it's not the right thread OK I will introduce myself and keep it brief... Firstly I don't need sympathy. I am about to turn 44, I'm a software Engineer. I am married (seperated) and have 3 children. My life has been generally pretty good so far. The last few years though things just went bad, with my relationship mostly. Its been a down hill slide since then, and its forced separation with my wife and children. For the better I have to say, because I was taking them down with me. I live alone now, and don't really have many friends left. I cant pinpoint the exact reason why I am so depressed. Last week I took my first attempt... Fortunately the disgusting smell of the xxx, didn't allow me to doze off and sleep like I intended. I went to the doctor the next day or so, and am taking antidepressant. Day 4 now, told it will take a few weeks. Got a phone call today, My mate (one of my last ones) hanged himself on the weekend leaving behind his son, daughter, wife and all of us that loved him. His son and my son have been friends for 10 years, they are 15 now. My son will find out tonight what happened. Have to say I'm not in the best state at the moment.