Hi all

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Roman, Sep 15, 2012.

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  1. Roman

    Roman New Member

    At first, sorry for my english, iv got no english courses. Iv learned it from movies and books and games.

    My name is Roman and i live in one city in Europe. Im man. 34 years. I work as grafic designer and computer grafic editor.

    I dont know, why i joined this forum... I think, i feel total empty. Nothing can make me happy. If I smile, its false smile. If i do something like to talk to people, im doing it automaticly just like small talk conversation, with pretended smile. I know a lot of people who I can talk to or call to go somewhere, to enjoy day or evening, but i dont do that. There is none who I can say, he is my friend. I spend my time between work and to listen sad piano music or salsa dancing or sleeping. All my thought is only about suicide or ... well i think I have no other thought right now

    I found one girl half year ago, which i spent some time and I felt really happy with her. I mean really happy. I felt i really live. She was great friend of mine, but sadly i fall in love to her and because i cannot have her, all things i wrote up there returned. If Im with her (shes my dancing partner), i feel pain from my desire for her. If Im not with her, I feel pain from total emptiness in my life. I cannot enjoy reading books, cinema, dinner at restaurant, i cannot sleep, nothing...

    All days i think this all is some kind of nightmare and one day Ill wake up... But i know this is real. Every morning i wake up, my first though is "Omg, not again, i dont want it!"

    Well, thats all what is in my mind right now I think.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Roman i think being able to talk here you won't feel so alone Have you reached out and talk to your doctor about your depression hun sometimes it helps Keep talking here too hun ok so others who can relate will give you support hugs
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Welcome Roman.. Lots of people here that are fighting the same battles.. At least now you do not have to be alone.. Is ok to take the mask off and just be you on here.. Honesty and real feelings are of real value here..

    Glad to have you with us now..look around some please and got any questions just let us known.. jim
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