There is a story I heard on a movie once, Zhang Zimous "In the Mood for Love", the story is that when someone in CHina has a secret that is eating away inside them they make a little hole somewhere, whisper the secret in to the hole and then cover the hole up, sucide forum you are that hole, I have things about my life that are depressing me and angering me to the point where I need to get it off my chest, because right now I feel like I could just break down and cry. Hi By the way Basically I feel like a ghost, I have no friends outside of school, no love interest, no guts to ask anyone out, I just sit around when I am not working and jack off, play video games and get angry and depressed. I just sit on the computer bouncing from one site to another in an attempt to find something to keep my mind occupied that my life sucks. Even on the websites any kind of social interaction usually ends with me being ignored or told to go away. I chose the name ghosted because it feels like I am a ghost, I can walk through a room without anyone noticing me, I am the guy you talk to at a party while waiting for the fun people to arrive, once they arrive you forget all about me. Not that I get invited to any parties, I am scared of going out because I am scared that I will make an idiot out of myself or I find some other excuse. I am not suicidal but it is an option, I have lost my fear of death long ago and the only thing keeping me going is the idea that things may get better, also my Taoist beliefs help me along as well. There is no beauty in my life that I can appreciate, no sense of "wow" anymore, I guess I am becoming a Nihilist, feeling nothing but anger and sadness. This is what I really think of myself but I keep it hidden from the world in case I become a laughing stock, while the people I know probably know this already. I am close to tears at this point. Help.