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Hi - especially to ppl who experienced lost of some1 in suicide

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I have found it very hard to start posting on this forum. I have made some introdution in here http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?p=151487#post151487 Somehow i have found it easier to answer those questions then to introduce myself here.

Why am I here? My father commited suicide last days of March this year. I m very lost too and need some help. Hopefully I have met some1, who long ago experienced same. That person (among some others also very importand) has helped me go through this a bit.

If you had experienced similar, pls dont hestigate to post here or PM me.

My life was never easy and I had a huge dose of problems to cope with. Somme i still cant reveal cuz they are hard to accept I prefer to see them as not real, a nightmare. I deny them because I am not ready to face them. Most of them if not all are associated to my father. Relations with my father were very complex and it makes all even more messy. Moreover 4 years ago I have lost my only brother cuz of cancer. I still didnt deal with this one and another came alredy. That is why i decided to look for help, look for answers from people who had similar experiances more likely then from a therapist. I dont suffer depression atm, but i deal with a great pain, fault, hopeless and confusion.All this has a very destructive infulence on my life. It is the strongest argument to change it.

I have also a story to tell abt how once i found life not attractive enouf to continue it, but i have changed my mind for good. It is a story to tell some toher time...
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First I would like to welcome you to SF. Although I have not had a parent lose their life to suicide, I have had several family members and close friends that chose that way to end their pain. I do know how difficult these choices are on the survivors. The feelings of guilt, inadequacies, worthlessness, sadness, pain, and many others. I would be willing to talk about these things with you if you would like. I am sorry your dad felt he had no better solution. I am thinking of you. Take care. :hug:
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