Hi everybody

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by uncleddy, Mar 26, 2013.

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  1. uncleddy

    uncleddy Member

    Hi

    In brief, i dont talk....normally, not even to myself about this subject, i am prone to, although married with grown children, becoming a recluse, i feel the need, quite an urgent need to be left alone, this means dont talk to me, dont approach me, dont breath near me, i feel the need to be violent towards others, my moods are often very up and down and can change in an instant.

    I fear everything, this is a cold sweaty fear, i have a councilor and have had meds, neither work because i fear them, i am very manipulative and can often just tell people what i think they want to hear, so in actual fact i dont get the correct type of counselling, much as i try not to do it, its as if its a fight or flight sort of reaction...suicide is my action plan, it has been for 3 years nearly, two poor attempts, but practice will make perfect, doc tells me its a dangerous game and i should stop, councilor wonders why i punish myself..

    more in a while, my OCD has kicked in
     
  2. RenoBill

    RenoBill Active Member

    Welcome uncleddy. I share you fear of meds. I tried one for my anxiety, which merely gave me a splitting headache and a whopping chase of diahrea. I
     
  3. uncleddy

    uncleddy Member

    Okay, have to do this a little bit at a time, when i say fear everything, people dont get it, i fear, open spaces, closed spaces, breathing, not breathing, my kids, my furniture, my food and you know what...if i dont fear it, its because i havent thought about it yet, as we speak a fear of this site and this post is strting to build, a numbness creeps over me, over active deep thinking, i start to feel the adrenalin flow and the mood change.

    I am hyper sensitive to my surroundings, i check doors windows and gates around my property every few mins, or at least it seems that way, i am told that is PTSD.
     
  4. uncleddy

    uncleddy Member

    Do you know what...the loneliness that i create is killing me
     
  5. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hello Uncleddy, glad you've joined us. It was the desperate loneliness that got me here. I hope you'll find that posting and reading the posts on other threads will help.
     
  6. uncleddy

    uncleddy Member

    Hi Theo

    I too am in Yorkshire, Sheffield
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi uncleddy welcome to SF I too am highly sensitive and like to isolate as well fight the idea of meds but take therapy for my family sake as i hate it when i push them away Hard on them nice to meet you
     
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