Hi Everyone - I Feel like a failure

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by humdrum22, Jan 26, 2012.

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  1. humdrum22

    humdrum22 Member

    Hey everybody,

    I joined the forum because I've been wrestling with thoughts of suicide for about a month now -- things aren't great in my life -- I'm broke, I'm trying to operate a 'business' that is a dismal failure and waste of time and energy, I'm middle aged with limited career experience and options, and I just don't want to 'compete' or 'market myself' to even pretend like I'm interested in living in this shitty world.

    Aside from the fear of death and pain (which is diminishing every day), the only thing that keeps me going in this life is the thought of a small handful of people (I can count them on one hand) who I could never leave with the pain of my own suicide and the uncertainty that this would entail. BUT... there's a voice inside me that keeps wanting to convince me that these people do not really love me as much as I think, and they'd probably be better off without me.

    Thanks for reading
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Welcome to SF, humdrum22. :) I'm glad you found the forum. There are lots of supportive people here who can relate to your feelings. Keep fighting the urges and please stay safe. I look forward to seeing more of your posts on the site.
  3. catman55

    catman55 New Member

    Humdrum, I empathize with you. i have a 70 year old business, third generation business that now has become a money vacuum on life support. I can no longer feed the beast and to morrow i go to lawyer to explore bankruptcy. I too feel like a total and complete failure. i know that I have had suicidal thoughts off and on for quite some time and have been on medications for well over a decade. I implore you to not dwell in the past and let us both look towards a brighter future. Please feel free to contact me if you need to talk.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry to hear that your business isn't doing too great. You said that you haven't killed yourself because of some people that you care about, and I'm sure they care about you too. You don't know how they would feel if you were gone, but I'm pretty sure they would be devastated. So please keep writing to us and we can try and help you.
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