Hi everyone, I've been suffering with "stuff" for a number of years but in recent months and years it seems to get getting worse. I've tried a lot of things to find my self and my center but seem to keep coming back to the same fears and problems each time, and harder each time. Everything has seemed to have lost it value and meaning and I'm slowly shutting down on all the different aspects of my life. Like so many people, it's not so much that I want to kill myself, just that I don't want to be here any more. Having said that, each time I think of solutions to ALL my problems, suicide does seem like the answer to all. One of the biggest problems I have when it comes to finding help is that I studied psychology and worked as a counselor for a childrens' charity and feel as though all the helpful advice and loving encouragement offered to me is just scripted and predictable. I still work with children in a school and am occasionally called on in a pastoral capacity and find myself giving the same encouragement and advice that I don't believe for myself. So, that's me.