So I just stumbled across this forum doing a Google search, nice to find a place where others can relate. I would love to be able to go into history about my suicidal idealization, but that would take a lifetime. I suffer from severe loneliness, chronic OCD, depression, anxiety, paranoia and ADD. I'm 37 and a very lonely guy. I'm also suffering from severe Benzo (Valium) withdrawal, which has now been going on for so many years. It's sheer hell. I analyze things a great deal (OCD), and I notice such a huge change in people's behavior these days. There's just so much apathy in the world, greed and corruption. It seems very difficult to make friends, and when you do, they often forget about you very soon. I had a terrible childhood for being bullied due to being mixed race, beaten up, and humiliated, by the students as well as the teachers. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, never been in love. I used to look after myself a great deal, but eventually I just stopped caring. If anyone else wants to asks me anymore questions (I'm not so good at posting introductions on threads), then feel free to ask me. Kind regards.