hi everyone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by An Angel in Black, Feb 24, 2008.

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  1. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    hello, ive come back because i feel so horrible i just had to vent. i hear nothing but bad stuff about me from my father, as thats the only words weve exchanged, we havent seen eachother but small glances in a while. i hate him!! I HATE HIM SO GODDAMN MUCH!!! i just feel my time is getting closer and closer.. i started taking medication the other day, and im thinking of overdosing on them...not sure if ill die but i figure its worth a shot. im soo scared. i feel alone. i feel so scared around him, im jsut waiting for him to start yelling at me or start hitting me. thats all i can picture around him..i can never relax, and i always have my guard up. to be honest, im irresponsible, stupid, spastic, childish, and fun. but i had no idea having fun was supposed to end when you grow up. its horrible being around him..so horrible. i cant laugh, eat, nothing. i manage to take very tiny breathes so it looks like im not even moving..hes soooooooooooooooooooooooo scary. he'll yell at me and talk to me like im worthless 24/7. never does he ever say anythign nice..ever..im sorry, i just had to vent..:sad:
  2. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    Don't overdose, Angel. It isn't worth it... you've got so much going for you right now. You'll make it. Just concentrate on getting out of that house. It isn't good for you. You're going to do great things with your life. I know you... you're going to be ok. I love you very much, sweetie!!

  3. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Stay safe Angel! Come to chat sometimes and hang around. :hug:
  4. Mortem

    Mortem Well-Known Member

    Yeah, needless to say I totally recognize that. It's interesting how they love to suck the fun out of oneself. The second I showed any sign of actually enjoying the moment, showed just a tad bit of enthusiasm about something, or any indication of happiness - that's when they struck the worst. I never could figure out why they were the only ones allowed to smile or enjoy something. Fucking hipocrates.

    I really wish I could do something to help you Angel. :sad:
  5. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    oh yeh, then they talk about you loud enough when they know you can hear, and if you try to defend yourself from anything they make you feel even worse. my dad does everything to piss me off..i hate him..so yeh, i know what ur going through..lol
  6. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    thanks shadowlands..***hugs***
  7. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    I LOVE U so much sweetie, i hope you know that..^_^
  8. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Hey hun, I understand where you are coming from

    Just focus on you, and try shutting him out (Soo much easier said than done, I know) But you are the important one. Don't let him get to you :hug:

    I'm here if you need someone to talk to, I know how you feel :(

    Stay safe hun xx :hug:
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Angel. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I received a message from Agnesès brother Eric. It was sent from Agnesès old msn account. She hanged herself and sheès dead. I posted the email in the Agnes and Angel thread. Please find the strength to carry on. I know that you loved her, but life still goes on. :cry:
  10. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    i had a feeling she was....its hard to imagine life going on sometimes....it really is, with everything going on right now..
  11. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    Hey sweetie, i try shutting him out, but i cant seem to do it..every time ill go to my room and start crying..i cant seem to ignore it, when he yells at me everything i have done wrong just comes flashing back at me, and i just feel like dying..i can never relax, act silly, be around him period..i have to live being scared of him..every single day, day in and day out..im just tired of it..:sad:
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