Howdy. I'm nto sure hwo to start this so I'll jsut tell a bit about myself. I am a minor cutter, meaning I don't cut deep, but I do little kitty claw scratches, if you know what I mean. I've attempted suicide 5 times, twice ending up in the hospital, both on overdoses, and I've been admitted to a sychiatric (SP?) ward for one week. I'm eighteen years old, and recently have had very bad, major suicidal thoughts and have been contemplating ending it. I am currently strugling in my religious studies. I am a member of the First Baptist Church of Enumclaw Washington. I have been baptised twice, once when i was seven at a mormon church, and another time when i was sixteen at the Baptist church. My church is like my second family. Though I have been having struggles with the darkness set in my heart. My doctor once told me that everyone has a safety net in their mind that stops them from doing outragious things. She told me that my safety net has been pushed back a little, to where I may begin to act on something, but not be able to finish it. Like I can sit and contemplate the future of my families lives in the kitchen, holding a large knife, or even a large ax but never acy apon such thoughts. I could be considered a danger to myself and the people around me, though no solid evidence of such behavoir has been demonstrated. I am an artist, writer, architect, computer whizz, and poet. I have been diagnosed with Catatonic Schizofrenia, Paranoia, Social Anxiety, Depression, ADD, and Bi-Polar mania. Anyway, thanks in advance for the welcomes and hugs. I hope to becoem a more active member of these forums. oh, and I've been a member under various names for over five years, just not an active one.