Hi, everyone

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by HItomorrow, Nov 16, 2009.

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  1. HItomorrow

    HItomorrow Member

    I joined this forum to be able to talk with people who share my same problems and could understand my situation.I'm 18,i'm from italy and since i was 13 i was alienated from society,well almost... Beside school i live my daily life here at home, i don't have people who you could call "friends" nor a girlfriend. Every day feels lonely, even so is better staying here at home than being outside doing whatever...I skip school because when i'm around people i feel like shit, i'm defenseless, anyone could harm me, i have problems expressing myself or i just don't feel like it. This may seem crazy but lately when i walk or i'm in front of people i can't even walk properly and i think shit like "how i'm supposed to walk?" or "what should i do with my arms? Where should i put them?" while i'm walking or standing still. I have obsessions about beauty, sometimes i feel like i'm the most beautiful creature on this planet, and some other time i feel like a ugly piece of shit, i guess that's the effect of television? Most days i feel very depressed and want to kill myself, not today though. I lack motivation, i don't feel like doing anything i don't see a future, my grades are really bad ,but i feel like a very smart person. I love sleeping, it's so peaceful , while you're asleep you can think whatever you like and its true.I'm only able to entertain myself watching anime,reading manga playing games, watching tv series and i feel like i didn't live a day of my life. My school life sucks badly, i'm in a male only school with a little % of girls, like 4%, i try to appear normal, i always laugh even though i hate them for their sillyness, they don't have a clue about "how life sucks", i can't stand being friendly with them, i have nothing to say, and some of them even dare to bother me. I'm in a position where life goes on without me, every day will be worse, because i'm growing and one day i will have to support myself financially, i hope that day will never come, it's better to die at this point.

    I didn't read any rule of this forum, so if i did something wrong pls excuse me and my silly existence.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2009
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to the forum! :)
  3. suzie_m

    suzie_m Member

    Its sad to hear that you feel this way. Its a bummer that you feel that you don't fit in and school sucks. But take comfort in the fact that theres a big world out there. Once you finish school you will be introduced into other circles of people through work, university and otherwise. You will be doing other things in your life other than mundane study and you know you may find that you will enjoy the freedom of working, supporting yourself and doing as you please without teachers and parents. It's good to hear you are feeling good now and know there are many ppl here to support you.:handinhand:
  4. happyville

    happyville Well-Known Member

    You have... just written down EXACTLY how I felt through out ALL of my years of Junior High until my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me.

    I know completely how this feels - I felt exactly like that, every single word. Welcome to the forum.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF glad you can come here for support Lots of people care here and can relate to what you said.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hiya, welcome to the forum. :hug: Its nice to meet you :)
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to our forum. I am glad you chose to join us. I would suggest you do read through the forum rules so you become familiar with them. I would hate to see you unknowingly go against them and end up losing support over a mistake. Take care and I look forward to seeing you around the forum. :hug:
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