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Hi Everyone

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Hello there,

I used to have an account on this site a couple of years back that I forgot about, so I decided to start fresh.

My name is Ali and I'm a 20-year old college student. I've been suffering from social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and chronic depression since my early teens. I describe myself as "on again, off again suicidal." I decided to rejoin this site for some help since my suicidal feelings are definitely on again these days. I'm not sure why these feelings fluctuate so much, but it's definitely draining.

The closest I came to attempting suicide was when I was 14. I attempted to swallow a bottle of pills, and only stopped when my sister knocked on the bathroom door because she wanted to take a shower. Nobody in real life knows about my failed attempt. I have never attempted again, but I often think about it.

What causes my suicidal feelings is my depression, which usually stems from my many anxieties. This sounds really lame, but I am also still very depressed over a bad breakup I had with my ex-boyfriend whom I was very much in love with about a year and a half ago. I should be over it by now, but I'm still really hurt and miss him a lot. It doesn't help that I have started dreaming about him lately, and that I've gotten myself involved in a mostly physical casual relationship over the past year that reinforces the idea in my head that I'm unlovable.

To end my rambling, I'm hoping to meet others who understand these feelings I'm having and to have a place where I feel safe talking about it.

Thanks so much for reading!

Ali <3

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi Ali welcome back I am sorry you are still feeling the loss of your bf Are you on medication for your depression and anxiety meds do hellp and therpay as
Glad to see you reaching our for support here hugs to you
hiay MeetMeInMontauk. nice to meet you :shake: welcome to SF.... keep posting - lots of people here to support you and to give you a shoulder to lean on :hug:
:welcome: back Ali. I hope you are able to find the support you need from us. I am glad you remembered we are here and felt safe to come back. Take care and keep sharing. :hug:
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