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sorry_mozart

Well-Known Member
#1
How did I end up here?

I'm 27, in the UK, and desperately looking for answers. I'm alone, I'm bipolar and so very far down that I can't see an exit right now. I'm trying so hard not to be suicidal, because I know the pain that suicide causes others, but at times like this my own pain is so intense that I almost can't think about anybody else.

I'd like to chat to someone but can't get into the chatroom. I tried to phone Samaritans but my phone crapped out. Well, I've never been lucky. I haven't been at work in a month but that doesn't matter - I'm a PhD student - nobody relies on me and nobody notices if I'm not there. I need help so bad. I'm a self-harmer and a binger. I finally made an appointment with my GP today but it was useless. She wants me to come back next week. I really don't know if I can last another week in this state. I've never been this disconnected before.

I stumbled on this site, and thought it might help to be around other people who know how it feels to be so low, so here I am, hello.

That's all.
S
x
 

sorry_mozart

Well-Known Member
#4
Thanks guys, I'm glad I found this place. I've made it into the chatroom but am exhausted and need to call it a night. Think I will come back again soon.
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#5
Welcome to the forum Mozart!:smile: It might help you some if you could break things down into smaller bits. Just look to get thru today, worry about tomorrow when it comes. Did you ask your doctor about medication for your bipolar? It might be worth a try and might make your illness a bit more manageable, less overwhelming. Yes, we're a friendly lot here and since we all have our own problems we understand very well the problems of others. You said you couldn't get into chat?:blink: There's at least one thread in Troubleshooting about that problem. You might take a look and see if there are some suggestions that might fix that problem.

Between appointments, do come here to let off steam, to just cry and holler, and we'll offer listening ears, embracing arms, and shoulders to cry on or lean on.:smile:

least

Just now saw your most recent post. Glad you got into chat ok. Hope to see you around.
 
B
#6
Hey hey
Just saw you in chat :smile:
Hope I will see you again
and that you'll find some answers
Tke care :hug:
 

jane doe

Well-Known Member
#9
welcome to the forum. you will have here the support you are looking for, don´t hesitate in pm me at any time. take care.
 

LeaveMeAlone

Well-Known Member
#11
I'm not bipolar but I know how it feels to be so low, I know what it's like when it's so difficult to get help, especially from the NHS, the help is there you just have to persevere, it's not fair I know, but it's the system. the only advice I can give you is fight, every day you can, you fight for your life like it is the most important thing in the world, and when you can't, when you're so low you want to die, just try and ride it out, do whatever you need to to survive, eat a bucket of ice cream or smoke a ******, kick out on the sofa and watch your favourite TV shows, or go for a walk in the park. Once you're through that day you can start fighting again, and eventually I'm sure, we'll both make it.
 

sorry_mozart

Well-Known Member
#12
Wow! What a welcome! Thank you all for your kind words. I already feel like I'm among friends here.

@ theleastofthese - I've been off meds for 5 years, can't even remember if they even helped or made me worse (not that I was ever the best person to judge), but I think it's finally caught up with me. Sod it, I'm going to make it through to next Tuesday's appointment if it means clinging to my duvet the whole time between now and then.

@ LeaveMeAlone - a Muse fan, an atheist, and a yellow-belly to boot? My kind of person! :smile: But I agree with you about the NHS - they don't have the time or resources to get help to people who need it unless it's an acute emergency (which makes it really tempting to just go and create one).

Typing is exhausting today! I think I will go back to bed for a while (yeah I've been out of there for nearly 5 hours!).

back later x
 
#14
:welcome: to the forum. Spend as much or as little time here as you are comfortable with and feel like it. We welcome you with open arms and will try our best to support you. Take care and see you around. :hug:
 
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