hi I'm Alice. I'm abit different, I live in the UK and I'm a 24 year old transsexual woman (MTF) I was historically very depressed and suicidal prior to my transition (I transitioned when I was 22) I attempted suicide twice once when I was 17 and again when I was 20. I used to self harm from ages 13-22. and my body is smothered with scars While I'm not suicidal anymore, I'm still not free from trouble and pain that can frequently kick me back into those dark places... I feel I can't talk to anyone as nobody understands the situations I face. I don't want pity or to be spoken down to... I just don't want to feel so crushingly alone in my feelings. As I mentioned I transitioned a couple of years ago I live full time as a female and most people can't tell by looking at me my past. but I still know it's there I'm often lonely and miserable my body is just so freakish. Even when guys hit on me I have to run away. I'm terrified what they might do to me if they found out most men would react badly i'm sure... I'm 24 and I'm a virgin I don't think I will ever fall in love. When some people have found out about my history they have made my life miserable. (typically the religious) Including begin evicted from housing or physically intimidated. The NHS don't help me get the hormones and medicines I need, when I don't get them I'm plunged into a depressive self destructive spiral. forcing me to get them from illegal sources leaving me vulnerable to exploitation financial or... otherwise. Some of my female friends do help me get legitimate ones from time to time.