Hi from Appalacahia

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by BrowbEyedGirl, Jul 23, 2015.

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  1. BrowbEyedGirl

    BrowbEyedGirl New Member

    I'm a new poster, but I am not new to pain.
    Before a lot of bad things happened to me, I was a beautiful, funny, sunny, happy girl. Then I married someone who was very wrong for me. 12 years and two children later, we divorced. He has manipulated the children into blaming and disliking me though I was the one who was abused. During this regretful time, I met a man I thought could "save" me. I became unintentionally pregnant out of wedlock. I now have a beautiful son, but my father has disowned me for having him. Due to family demands, I can't continue in a doctoral program I was in, and this is costing me my job. I have several applications out, but am losing hope. I am so terribly isolated and lonely. My only sibling died in an accident 20 years ago. I feel like I have nobody to turn to...but I know certain things are not the answer when I have a baby. Yet sometimes I think he would be so much better off with a happy mom who could also give him a dad. I don't seem to attract good men, and I have lost all confidence in ever finding love. My best friend from childhood is dying of stage 4 cancer, and the major problem is I am so very alone and sad. If I had family support I think it would be much better. As it is, most days all I can do is think about how much I've screwed up my life. Anyway, wanted to say hi.
     
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum. :hugs:
     
  3. kangaroo2

    kangaroo2 Active Member

    Welcome aboard. Are there any survival jobs that you could apply for and get, just to get by?
     
  4. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF :hug:
     
  5. vil2liv

    vil2liv Member

    "As it is, most days all I can do is think about how much I've screwed up my life."
    You screwed up your life??? From what I read I couldn't find any fact supporting that statement. I am 30, haven't had a proper relationship in years. Have zero money in my pocket. Didn't have a proper job in years... My wish for having kids will remain only wish. And I'm probably gonna die in half of year or even less, unless I manage to magically make some money, but I'm not a magician! :) So, trust me you DIDN'T screw up your life. For someone life is a big scumbag, and there isn't much we can do about it, except to fight it with great determination. So, don't think how you "screwed up your life", because you didn't. You gave birth to THREE children, you made three lives. How is that "Screwing up life"? Think about that! You sure made some mistakes, but if you had known what consequences will be, you wouldn't make them. But guess what, we cannot see future. One night when you sit alone, instead of looking back at bad things, look back at good ones, just for few minutes. And another night try to find more good stuff, even smallest ones. And another night more... It works, trust me!!! ;)
     
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