Hi from the UK

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by xjulesx, Jan 8, 2011.

  1. xjulesx

    xjulesx Member

    Hi, I lost my ex partner, my childrens father to suicide in July 2010, I would love to speak to anyone who has been through this!!

    Even though we had split up, we were together for years and I had so many feelings for him and memories and of course 3 gorgeous kids!!

    He was depressed,felt alone in the world, drank too much and wanted me back, that's why he killed himself, he thought that his life was over, the guilt I feel is tremendous and I will never get over it, even though people think I will.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is sad when one loses their way. You cannot blame you You had to keep your children safe and you as well. Hugs
     
  3. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Please don't feel guilty it is not your fault. I struggle with this concept and I have never lost anyone to suicide so I may not be the best placed to reply. but I have had a lot of support from people who have and it is not your fault and you cannot feel guilty for it. I hope you do find some strength and support from people here and I know it's hard to deal with the aftermath. Sending you lots of hugs xxx
     
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Really sorry for your loss - I haven't been through anything like that, but my thoughts are with you. Stay safe :hug:
     
  5. macman

    macman New Member

    Hi, I'm from the UK too, Scotland to be exact.

    I lost my wife in July 2010, I came home from work and found she had committed suicide, I'm still devastated after nearly 7 months and am still struggling to make sense of it all. "Why" is now a question I ask constantly, and did I miss any signs of what was to come. I love & miss her desperately, will the pain ever go away.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say Hi macman and say how sorry i am for your loss
    Sometimes their are no signs okay it may have been just spur of a moment an intense pain that took her away You cannot find reasons really the whys we will never know. Just know she did not want to leave you it was her pain whatever it was that took her away that made her not see so clearly.

    7mths is not a long time you are still very much grieving . I hope you get some grief therapy okay IT does help to get you through the pain and sadness. Please okay get some therapy for you hugs.
     
  7. Cute_Angel_Xx

    Cute_Angel_Xx Account Closed

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, he will remain forever in your heart. I found this article for you on Dealing with death that may be useful to you, maybe check it out?

    You may also want to check these links out
    CRUSE - Offers counselling, support, information and advice for anyone bereaved by death.
    Send an Email
    Tel: 0808 808 1677
    RD4U - Offers support for young people affected by death.
    Send an Email
    Tel: 0808 808 1677

    http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
    http://www.rd4u.org.uk/

    Take care x
     
  8. Bubble

    Bubble Well-Known Member

    If someone can relate its me, to the point where im having deja vu!

    I lost my partner feb 2008 to suicide when i was pregnant with my first two beautiful children, he wrote me a note which i wasnt allowed to read but apparently explained that he felt without a family he couldnt be the person he wanted to be. (we had been trying for a baby for awhile but it wasnt happening and i hadnt told him i was pregnant because it was going to be his birthday suprise) Stupid me for thinking it would be a great suprise.

    I struggled for months, I didnt leave my house and the only time i did was to go to doctors appts because i knew i couldnt give up on my kids. I also rebounded straight into the arms of my next door neighbour, who i suspect was/is an alcoholic now I think of it. He would be caring and loving when i needed him and nowhere in sight when i didnt. I fell pregnant again to my 3rd child and he left me for another woman a few weeks in, then he came back and then i just kicked him out.

    NOW, I am pregnant with my 4th child, she was planned (the first one haha) to my loving fiancee who i have known for years and know he hasnt a bad bone in his body, except his stubborness.

    Its really hard to think you can move on after the loss of a loved one, but it is possible, you just need to focus on your children and creating a positive atmosphere for them. Dont do the rebound thing, it never works haha but maybe look for a purpose? Volunteer somewhere, find a hobby a distraction for you when your children cant provide one.
    It will get easier, I promise :) and i apologise for my essay.. haha please pm if you want to speak further
     
  9. burton

    burton New Member

    Am also in the uk. I lost my husband to suicide 2 months ago, just 1 month before our first wedding anniversary. At the moment I seem to be coping ok as I am still very much in denial even though I was the one who found him I still think he is going to come home. Is this normal to feel this way?
     
  10. Heatherj299

    Heatherj299 New Member

    Hello to everyone. I am new to this site but hoping to recieve some support and comfort from others through sharing thoughts and feelings. Three weeks ago my partner of six years took his own life, and I am devastastated. Everyday is a mixture of emotions from absolute sadness to anger. Somedays I wake up and think its a dream and he`ll arrive at any moment. I have experienced grief before, but not like this. No one can remember seeing any signs, and now there are so many unanswered questions. I know it is very early days but it feels like my life is over... it will never be the same again. How do people get through this?

    Heather x