I would tell you my real name, but you know how it goes...I am a 22-year-old female that goes to college in East Tennessee. I have recently been struggling with living and getting along with my boyfriend. I know that no one likes to hear this, but I am having a really hard time with this. We have been dating for over four years and he's only the second serious boyfriend I've had. Unfortunately, he never dated or slept with anyone before me. This causes a lot of problems in our relationship, and also a lot of conversations to be littered with phrases like: "*****" and "used up." That really hurts, especially since I don't consider myself a "*****" by any means. He also tells me that if I want to stay with him, he either has to cheat on me, or we have to have three-somes in order to "even the score." I've also struggled with bulimia and self-esteem issues throughout my teen years. Since I've been dating this guy he's really used these issues to insult me. For instance, he tells me I'm ugly when he gets mad at me, and it honestly hurts so much. I should leave him, but I'm way too scared and co-dependent to do so. I already didn't like myself and now I HATE myself. Sometimes I just pray to die and other times I think about actively ending my life. I'm scared and I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff. Someone please help me. I'm really sorry for making such a long and depressing introduction post, I just really need a friend right now. Thanks so much for whatever advice you can offer.