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Hi Guys :)

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by sadandalone, Feb 11, 2011.

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  1. sadandalone

    sadandalone New Member

    I would tell you my real name, but you know how it goes...I am a 22-year-old female that goes to college in East Tennessee. I have recently been struggling with living and getting along with my boyfriend.

    I know that no one likes to hear this, but I am having a really hard time with this. We have been dating for over four years and he's only the second serious boyfriend I've had. Unfortunately, he never dated or slept with anyone before me. This causes a lot of problems in our relationship, and also a lot of conversations to be littered with phrases like: "*****" and "used up." That really hurts, especially since I don't consider myself a "*****" by any means. He also tells me that if I want to stay with him, he either has to cheat on me, or we have to have three-somes in order to "even the score."

    I've also struggled with bulimia and self-esteem issues throughout my teen years. Since I've been dating this guy he's really used these issues to insult me. For instance, he tells me I'm ugly when he gets mad at me, and it honestly hurts so much. I should leave him, but I'm way too scared and co-dependent to do so.

    I already didn't like myself and now I HATE myself. Sometimes I just pray to die and other times I think about actively ending my life. I'm scared and I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff. Someone please help me.

    I'm really sorry for making such a long and depressing introduction post, I just really need a friend right now. Thanks so much for whatever advice you can offer.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi welcome i am glad you are reaching out here. You bf is controlling you belittling you and it has got to stop okay. You stop it you move out kick him out and you get a safe place where you can learn to take care of yourself You have that ability you don't need to be dependant on anyone especially a abuser like him. Get some therapy okay that will help increase you self esteem your inner strength and meet someone that will appreciate you okay not abuse you.

    You can do this you are stronger then you think time to rid yourself of this idiot and move on to better life.
  3. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Advice? Sure! Kick his sorry backside out of your life! Girl, you do not have to be spoken to like that! Nor do you have to be told you have to have three-somes or be crapped all over. I do know where I coming from on this subject (I don't know much but Iknow about this) so please think about getting rid of him. No one person has the right to call you names like that and kick your self esteem around the floor.

    Getting better isn't as simple as getting rid of the biggest part of your problem, but it is a start. Welcome to SF, I am glad that you found us. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
  4. LipsOfDeceit

    LipsOfDeceit Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to SF. You shouldn't be with a guy who doesn't show you respect at all. It sounds like he's intentionally hurting you with such words and you deserve much better than that. Take care. :hug:
  5. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello and welcome!! I have to agree with the others..You don't need to take this bullshit from anyone.. If he is going to be demeaning towards you then he's not the right man to have in your life..Tell him to get out or you move out.. Maybe you should talk to a therapist to help you build up the courage..They can help with your self esteem also..You can call your hospital and ask for mental health.. They can tell you about any group therapies also..
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome, I hope life gets easier for you x
  8. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    that guy needs to grow up a little. i'm sorry to say that you might be the one to help him do that (by leaving him?)

    There is no need to take verbal abuse that would only lower your self esteem issues even more...

  9. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Welcome. He sounds like an asshole to me.

    Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well.
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