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Hi, I’m new please take care of me?

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#1
Hi Im new. I made this account because I feel lonely and been dealing with suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation and all that bullshit. Thought and feelings that I should not have and I feel like it’s taboo to talk about. I’m 18 from Norway and I was discharged from an acute psych ward a little over a week ago. I was in because of moderate/severe depression and being suicidal.

It feels surreal to write that out there. It doesn’t feel like me I am supposed to handle things and get good grades and suddenly I became so ill that I didn’t shower for over a week and could not stay safe at home. It sucks I would much rather have a broken leg or the flu. This problem is to complex to solve😭 The psychologist also wrote in my notes that he suspects that I am developing some sort of personality disorder?? And showing symptoms of ptsd from my fathers drinking. So wtf is a personality disorder?? Do I have such a disgusting personality that it classifies as a disease?? I don’t really know why I am posting this. I think I feel lonely battling a mental illness, so I just need to hear from someone in a similar situation.

I’m also still feeling suicidal, and feel like it was some sort of mistake in the universe that I was born. Sorry for depressing first post but this forum is literary about suicide so fuck it. And sorry that you are in a situation where you felt the need to create an account here❤️
 
#4
Hi. Welcome to the forums @Krøsa maja. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment.

You'll always have a place to talk and share here (as long as you follow the few forum rules), even about taboo or depressing topics. Sometimes sharing can help.

personality disorder?? And showing symptoms of ptsd from my fathers drinking. So wtf is a personality disorder?
A "personality disorder" is just another term for a range of mental health issues which affect your behaviour, thought process or feelings. There are a few different types of personality disorders such as "avoidant personality disorder" and "borderline personality disorder". Having a personality disorder doesn't make you a bad person and it certainly doesn't mean you have a "disgusting personality" at all. There are many members here with personality disorders, and they are some of the nicest people I've talked to.

And sorry that you are in a situation where you felt the need to create an account here❤️
Your kindness and consideration towards others, even when you are in great pain is impressive. I definitely don't think you have a terrible or disgusting personality.

I hope you can feel a bit better soon. Sending hugs *brohug.
 
#5
Hi. Welcome to the forums @Krøsa maja. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment.

You'll always have a place to talk and share here (as long as you follow the few forum rules), even about taboo or depressing topics. Sometimes sharing can help.



A "personality disorder" is just another term for a range of mental health issues which affect your behaviour, thought process or feelings. There are a few different types of personality disorders such as "avoidant personality disorder" and "borderline personality disorder". Having a personality disorder doesn't make you a bad person and it certainly doesn't mean you have a "disgusting personality" at all. There are many members here with personality disorders, and they are some of the nicest people I've talked to.



Your kindness and consideration towards others, even when you are in great pain is impressive. I definitely don't think you have a terrible or disgusting personality.

I hope you can feel a bit better soon. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

LOSTINSIGHT

Well-Known Member
#7
Hi Im new. I made this account because I feel lonely and been dealing with suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation and all that bullshit. Thought and feelings that I should not have and I feel like it’s taboo to talk about. I’m 18 from Norway and I was discharged from an acute psych ward a little over a week ago. I was in because of moderate/severe depression and being suicidal.

It feels surreal to write that out there. It doesn’t feel like me I am supposed to handle things and get good grades and suddenly I became so ill that I didn’t shower for over a week and could not stay safe at home. It sucks I would much rather have a broken leg or the flu. This problem is to complex to solve😭 The psychologist also wrote in my notes that he suspects that I am developing some sort of personality disorder?? And showing symptoms of ptsd from my fathers drinking. So wtf is a personality disorder?? Do I have such a disgusting personality that it classifies as a disease?? I don’t really know why I am posting this. I think I feel lonely battling a mental illness, so I just need to hear from someone in a similar situation.

I’m also still feeling suicidal, and feel like it was some sort of mistake in the universe that I was born. Sorry for depressing first post but this forum is literary about suicide so fuck it. And sorry that you are in a situation where you felt the need to create an account here❤️
Welcome km.
Its infuriates me ,the lack of compassion at explaining these drs give patients,,try not to freak out .personality disorders are hugely varied .
You could of developed certain ways to cope unconsciously as a kid due to your father's drinking or behaviour.god knows why your dad had to drink himself also.
There can be many reasons for depression, genetics, Northern hemisphere country's also ,darkness for months on end ,diet ,alcohol .
Follow the guidelines of your mental health team but do your own research also,,there's many ways to can help yourself .its starts with self compassion .don't compare yourself with what you see on social media .its 80% fake .
I personally wouldn't of found out my story without studying my history for myself (I was running from undiagnosed trauma most of my life) ,,leaving somewhere with a label in my opinion isn't the total answer.
The likes of Hollywood and streaming services dont help with the stigma of mental health,,don't buy into anything you hear.
Good luck on your journey.
 
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Butterfly

Sim Addict
Safety & Support
SF Author
SF Supporter
#9
PTSD and personality disorders are closely linked. I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. What help and support do you have?
 
#10
I have the privilege of “free” healthcare so I do have quite a lot of support. Right now I have a community social worker who can come home to me. Number to a crisis team. And this week I am meeting a new psychologist from the adult mental health services and my psych from child and adolescent to have a transfer meeting. So I do have a lot of support it isn’t perfect but I’m very grateful. And if I can’t be safe at home there is the psych ward... but rather not end up there again. It feels really safe but it’s not a fun place.

Yes I have also read something about personality disorders and ptsd overlapping. I haven’t experienced a war or like proper abuse with beating and stuff but there is some weird childhood trauma with drunk dad, some abandonment issues and a bit of a problematic family... I do get triggered by some noises and even facial expressions. Reacting with panic attacks or dissociation. Nightmares and pictures in my head I can’t get rid of. This has gotten better over time but I do still have some issues.
 
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