HI i am roe.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by roewanne, Jun 21, 2006.

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  1. roewanne

    roewanne Guest

    I came here as i didnt have the strength to continue on my journey. I came here to find acceptance in what i wanted to do. I came here to confirm that i was not the only one, that my decision was my own. I came here to confirm that i wasnt a bad person just someone who was desperate for the end to pain that i no longer understood. I came here with so much pain and was unraveling as fast as it could.......Then i met you...all of you .. and found that i was not the only one. i was not the only one to not understand the pain i am feeling...I am not the one that has decided this alternative.. Then i got hit on the head by your 2x4. I came to realize that i had all this pain inside and could accept that i own it I own my pain. It is mine not yours.. it is similar but definatly my own. I Found somehow within your soft voices the strenght that i needed to carry on for one more moment. I found strength in your voices to reach out to a special person in my world.. I found strength to look at my life through open eyes... befor my eyes were hazed in tears.. but when i wiped them i could see clearly the light that is in front of me. I choose to own my pain.. I have damn good reasons to have pain. I will learn to accept these feelings and have the strength now to continue on this path in front of me. Your voices clarified my love of another. my desire to live ... I did not know that living was the other option. I had gotten so far into my dark cloud that i forgot clouds were actually white. so i now start my new day owning my anxiety owning my self loathing owning my sorrow owning my pain. I want to thank you all for sharing with me your stories your lives your pain your sadness. I want to thank you for supporting me allowing my own strength the ability to increase.
    thanks for everything
    roe
     
  2. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    wow!
    I mean, that was the first thing I thought when I read your thread, roe!
    I'm just astonidshed about the way you put into words such a great achievement, choosing for life, accepting the pain but also the comfort and support that you got from people here, as I hope you will keep doing. Above all, you r words are inspirational, I hope they give people some way to look at their own pain, and reajust their choices.
    I'm not sure this makes any sense, but I sure couldn't stop me from letting you know that I'm proud, of you and all the people that helped you come to this conclusions.
    Thank you :)
    :hug:
    helena
     
  3. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    Oh hun I am so proud and happy. What a brave step to choose to live and take charge. That is something that is hard and takes such strength and courage. :hug:

    Mia
     
  4. Gary

    Gary New Member

    Hi Roe

    Your posting is unbelievably brave, poetic and truely inspirational........

    THANKYOU x x x

    I wish you peace, love and serenity.

    Gary < +
     
  5. roewanne

    roewanne Guest

    thanks for your words of kindness and compassion i also wish you all peace and all thanks, i sure hope that all of you will draw on me if your in need of a soft voice. i dont have all the answers however i am here for each of you.
     
  6. pillowperson27

    pillowperson27 Active Member

    and i've met you, roe. you're very kind, we haven't talked much - but i can feel it - :)
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Hi roe,
    I am so happy for you. I know the pain you carry is great and as you said you have reasons for this pain. I am glad you were able to find the help you needed to assistin your decision that life was the right choice for you. You will now be there for that special person in your life. Thank you for your inspiration, and your kind words. You are great! :hug:
    :grouphug:
     
  8. roewanne

    roewanne Guest

    i think i am going in circles..i though i had figured it out but i am hiding again in my black cloud. feeling really poorly. very scared wanting to scream i dont get this. well i am going to bed. mabey some sleep will allow for some clarity.
     
  9. Just_visiting

    Just_visiting Well-Known Member

    :hug: roe. Ur first post is a very powerful post hun, and it just shows that you can feel in control. The pain and fears do not have to control u, you can own them. Well done for finding those feeling and i hope that you can continue to draw strength from here.

    It is not unusual to have days where you feel on top of your problems and other days when they seem to b squashing you so don't feel to bad about not feeling so great today. Your first post is proof that you can feel on top of things and understand things. You can do that. Today may b hard but tomorrow could b better, you have proof that things can b easier. Try to hold on to that.

    I have talked to you a couple of times in chat and you seem such a lovely person. I hope to see you around more.
    Take care
    L1
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I happened upon this old thread today and it brought back so many memories. Oh, roe, how I miss you :sosad:
     
  11. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    This type of threads do make me wonder how the member is doing and what happened to them. Wishing all members the best of luck past and present.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I never had the pleasure of meeting her but I hope she has recovered :hug:
     
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