Hi, I found this board and thought it might help..

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by SilverSuicide, Mar 8, 2015.

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  1. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    My name is Danielle and Im 26 years old.
    I had a brain hemorrhage at birth.
    My childhood years were great, but when I hit puberty, things changed in a drastic way.
    I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks.
    I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. insomnia, bi-polar disorder and severe depression.
    I used to harm myself but since I met my boyfriend, I stopped.
    But I think about it...a lot.
    I see a doctor for all of this, Im on Citalopram, Seroquel, Ambien, Propranolol and Klonopin.
    Im not the worst case out there, but I feel like there is a void in my heart... and nothing helps.
    My brain bleed has caused a lot of problems.
    I have dissociative disorder because of it.
    Going to the store is a huge chore for me, the people scare me.
    I start to shake and sweat. Most of the time, I leave without getting the things I need.
    I cant drive and I dont have my GED. I dropped out of high school due to the anxiety.

    I dont really know how introductions for these things are supposed to go...so, Im sorry if I didnt get it right.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi danielle, I can relate to you a lot as I'm 26, female and also left school because of anxiety/bullying. Going to the store is sometimes a big deal too if my anxiety levels are playing up. You are very welcome here and it does help to talk, even to strangers as they soon become friends as not a lot of people in real life understand. I hope you settle in here and get the support you came for, wishing you all the best :hug:
     
  3. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    Thank you so much for the love and understanding...It means a lot to me. :)
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are very welcome and I am always around if you need a chat.
     
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering but I'm glad you have joined this forum.
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Welcome aboard, plenty of understanding people here. :irishdoll:
     
  7. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    What has really got me stressed and down at the moment is stupid facebook drama.
    I know this probably not the right place to vent, but a girl I was friends with turned on me pretty quickly...

    I messaged her on FB and she didnt even screenshot the whole conversation.
    She made it look like she was the victim...
    But post next to the photo read:

    "The most worthless whiney bitch I've ever met. Apparently I'm anoerixuc because you're obese and I'm normal weight. oh and I'm dramatic you're the one randomly talking about me on your status.. uhh stalker much? Oh btw I love all your dramatic posts about how no one loves you wha wha. Yeah who's the dramatic one? How's living off the government? Is that good for you? Fat ****. Lose weight. Id rather be anoorexic than look like you. Fat whale. What's even funnier is I eat alllll day long and I still don't look like you. Wtf are you eating??"

    The 'living off the government' thing is what really got to me.
    My mother fought seven long years to get my settlement for my brain damage that the doctors caused.
    Some people can be so cruel and heartless....
    I guess no matter how hard I try I cant escape the bullying.
    It cuts deep.
    Real deep.
    I shut my computer off when I saw that and went to bed, crying.
    Its not my fault my metabolism slowed down due to all the medication I've been taking.
    I literally have no motivation to do anything.

    Sorry for the harsh language in her post... :(
     
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, please do not worry about the Facebook message. There is nothing wrong with you. You have done nothing wrong but just try to be friendly.

    The wording is harsh and no doubt soul destroying. The person is a bully and is just picking on your weakest point. The mental strain you are suffering is not nice. Think about it. What's normal? Define normal? It's not about what you look like but what's on the inside.

    You feel humiliated which is not nice but remember they are only words. My suggestion is that you have no more contact with this person.

    You seem to be a kind person and please be safe. You are important and keep reminding yourself of that.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 9, 2015
  9. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    Thank you so much for understanding...And yes, I am not going to talk to her anymore. If she doesnt see me as a good person on the inside, then shes not the kind of person i want to be around. She is very superficial and shallow. Her friends even wanted her to kick my ass when I wasnt even the bad guy in all of this. As of now, I feel numb. I dont know if that is a good or bad thing. I feel so worthless.
    And you know, I think she might have said all of those horrible things to me because shes jealous...Im going to try to push her and her dirty comments out of my mind. Its the only thing I can do.
     
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Your welcome. Think of this. People use Facebook to socialise and have a go at other people. It's not nice to vent that criticism for others to see.

    Remember that there are millions of facebook accounts and people vent there anger in many ways. Life would so better without Facebook. You have to strong and kinder to yourself.
     
  11. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    I agree. It hurts that some people could be so cruel. But...Im trying to let go of it.
     
  12. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's hard to let go but trust me it does easy overtime. Your whole world is turned upside down. You are worried what's others are thinking.

    I assume you are crying for someone being so cruel. It's not nice but let's get you through this week. It's about coping one day at a time. Keep posting as I will help as much as I can.
     
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Those type of friendships are toxic. Not worth the drama. Delete them from FB and turn ur account to family/friends only setting.

    No shame in living off the government because of circumstances beyond your control. Youre not freeloading the system unlike many others who really can work.

    :hug:
     
  14. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    Im so overwhelmed with happiness that you guys care so greatly about me...
    I was thinking about just reporting her page to facebook mods (if they have any).
    I know there is a report button, so maybe I could do that and just block her?

    She does need to get her facts straight though, Im not living off the government, I have a trust fund that was set up for me.
    I need it because I cannot work....and she says I "hide food in my room, and shes seen it."
    Well, thats false.
    Shes making up lies about me...

    I just dont understand...
     
  15. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You have to detach yourself and do not worry. The situation will get worse if you persist. If you report her then she will come back with more nasty comments.

    You need not worry now but remain focus on yourself. We are here for you and keep remembering that. It's a cruel world but like I say we all suffer in many ways but need to remain safe.

    Take care and keep posting.
     
  16. SilverSuicide

    SilverSuicide Member

    thank you so much for the advice. You take care too :)
     
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