hi i guess

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Count, Dec 30, 2010.

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  1. Count

    Count New Member

    Hey all thought I better introduce myself.

    New to this site but have been using a depression site on and off for a few years now .

    Im 24, Live alone and like most people on here hate my job.

    I went through a phase last year of all I could think about was ways of killing myself how I could do it, would it hurt how easy it would be to just let go who it would affect and pretty much anything and everything to do with it.
    Although I have suffered from depression for years the suicidal feeling has rarely been a part of this but once again it seems to have creeped back up on me. I keep having the odd moment of I wouldn’t exactly call it happiness but moment where im not depressed but then I get to thinking why am I not depressed? And in a way missing the feeling. I think I have somehow managed to convince myself this is the way I am meant to feel and purposely drag myself back into it when im starting to escape.
    Suicide would be the easy way out looking forward all I see it a long line of jobs I hate and people that piss me off and loneliness so why bother continuing when I will only end up unhappy and eventually dead anyway?
    Don’t get me wrong I not going to go kill myself at least I don’t think. Im way to much of a pussy to actually do it although the thought of not having to cope with life is sooo sooo appealing I don’t think I will be so lucky.

    If only it was as simply as going to sleep and not waking back up eh? But if we could do that I guess the world would have a lot less people in it lol.
  2. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member


    you just described my thoughts/feelings almost exactly...
    and i think a lot of other ppl on here too
    so hang in there for awhile...
    and feel free to talk to us/vent/etc...
  3. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi Count


    I understand what you mean about dragging yourself into feeling bad, I do that a bit. I think sometimes it might just be the easiest thing - it's familiar, and we know it? I'm thinking out loud really.

    I hope you will find some support and strength here :hug:
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    :hiya: Welcome to the forum, hope you find the help and support you need here,

    Take care

  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi hope you reach out and get the supports you need hug:hugtackles:
  6. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi count, welcome :hug:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums count!
  9. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member

    Hello, welcome to SF
  10. Animosity

    Animosity Forum & Chat Buddy

    Hello and welcome. I hope you find the support you are looking for. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. :)
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