First things first. Yes, if I live long enough I will be a father in september. I am 22 years old and I know I am capable of being a great father. The baby and my fiancee are the only things really keeping me in something that could maybe, maybe, be called something resembling sane. I am Bipolar, yay me! I am Adhd as well, yay me again! For some reason I keep having these urges to end my life. I know it would be selfish, but its getting harder and harder to resist. I really don't get it... my medication cocktail seems to work in every other respect. lows aren't rock bottom, highs aren't through the roof. racing thoughts remain at times but thats part of the problem as well I guess. I get these awful thoughts running through my head and before you know it i want out. I'm lost and confused. My fiancee is in the hospital right now but even if she wasn't she lives a fair distance away and with school i only really get to see here on weekends. so basically I'm stuck at home with my thoughts.