Hi. I'm fifteen. I'm an A student. I'm an artist. And i want to kill myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by babygaara92, Jul 27, 2008.

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  1. babygaara92

    babygaara92 Member

    Hi.. truthfully i don't know why i'm writing this right now. I don't know if i'm doling this because somewhere i want someone to convince me to stay alive, or if i'm just bored and lonely and looking for people to talk to, or simply because i'm an attention craving bitch...
    but hello.. i'm fifteen and i live in boston. i'm going to be a junior and i have a boyfriend and friends and a supporting family... so i guess i'm just a selfish **** who will never be satisfied because i still want to kill myself.
  2. babygaara92

    babygaara92 Member

    i guess... i don't know why i bother.... v.v i never stick to anything i'm always new... never anyone to talk to.... i quit everything... i just wish quitting life wasnt such a pain in the ass
  3. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    Aww you still have your whole life to live. Don't give up yet. Do you have any symptoms of depression or anything? If so, you may need to go to the doctor to get checked out. My PM box is always open if you ever want someone to talk to. :smile: Take care.
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am glad you decided to give us a chance. You said you have a history of quitting things. Maybe this is a good time to change that. Don't give up on yourself. :hug:
  5. babygaara92

    babygaara92 Member

    ehhh... we'll see...
  6. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    I'm curious, you say you are an A student and an artist.....are these achievements that you did for you or to gain the approval and reward of others being proud of you?

    Do you feel like nothing is ever good enough?
  7. hare

    hare Active Member

    i relate to this one well. i, too, am young. i have my whole life ahead of me. i have the opportunity to get a great education and live a successful life, yet i also have a long history of quitting things. you don't have to hate yourself for quitting. if you're bored of your life, that's understandable. if you want to die, that's understandable. it doesn't have to have anything to do with circumstances. you just need to find something that makes you feel good.
    please, tell us more about yourself.
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Don't give up yet hun.
    You have so much to live for you just gotta tough it out for a little bit.
    Am here if you ever need to talk jus pm me :)
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I don't know why you are giving up at such a young age. There is a whole big world out here. Things to do and things to see. If you want to see the world join the military and you will move every two years. Don't give up on life until you have given it a chance.
    I hope you decide to give life a chance. Take Care and Be Safe!!
  10. Nogo

    Nogo Member

    I can't give the best advice since I don't know you, but it sounds like things are going well besides those thoughts. If you're depressed without a solid reason I'd guess that it's a psychological problem. Maybe some therapy would solve it, maybe a magical crazy pill a shrink prescribes will solve it. Some people have great lives and there's just something wrong with their brain. (I know I'm not articulating this well at all, I'm tired.)

    Like I said, I don't know you... so I don't know if that's your case.
  11. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    Sigh. Then you haven't been paying attention, Stranger1. There are lots of threads here about how old people were when they made their first attempts, and LOTS of people are suicidal long before they're fifteen years old.

    Regarding the original poster, there's no magic solution to your (or anyone else's) problems. Some people do manage to get better with time. But lots of us manage to slog on through decades of depression. So chin up--being suicidal doesn't mean you can't look forward to a long and pointless life.
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Who Asked You Ned!!
  13. babygaara92

    babygaara92 Member

    to the question of me being an A student and artist... im an A student so my parents fuck off and let me do drugs and kill myself in peace without being suspicious.. im an artist because its a hobby.. i drew my avatar.. its a doodle tho..
  14. S.A.D.

    S.A.D. Well-Known Member

    Don,t give up, you can get through this :hug:
  15. hare

    hare Active Member

    do you feel like your parents don't care?
  16. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Hunni dont give up. I have been suicidal for a long time, and at 1st i tried to be the best in school to prove to m parents that they could trust me. In the end they made it worse, that when i failed one thing i was a failure, and i would never come to anything. So i began to screw up in school, and end up being booted out of college and being sectioned. This does not need to happen to you. Have you tried tellign your parents or even some special close friends how you feel. I also no how hard this is, as i cant open up to people. Its one of many humans defences mechanisms [freudian theory] that some people are v. good at having. With you posting this thread, i think there is some hope that we can give you the right soloutions, for you to stay alive, and to be able to continue with life, but happier. Have you tried talking to your GP as they are usually useful, and also they are not aloud to tell your parents without your consent, although if your life is in immediate risk [such as you told them you were going to end your life the same night of seeing them] then this maybe different.
    Thats good that you have art as an distraction, and art is a beautiful thing, as you can express so many emotion on one peice of paper, I wish i was creative and an artist - or even have a hint or artistic talent!

    Take care, Keep Posting, and PM me anytime
    Xx Sky xX
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