hi im new here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by fletch6393, May 29, 2014.

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  1. fletch6393

    fletch6393 New Member

    Hi my name is jon. bear with my typos this is my cell. I've always been a loner and my family says I'm antisocial. I'm 18. I don't really see myself as being a hermit but I don't really get along with anyone my age. Older people yes. I've alwaya had problems. Especially with a lot of kids at school. I'm bullied a lott and have been rejected by many girls. I've literally sat and thought I wonder how all the people who were mean would feel if I killed myself? Would they feel guilt? Or would they dismiss me as always even in death. I feel my life has no meaning no purpose. The tipping point was recent. I met a girl about a year ago and I pretty much fell in love with her. And basically told her so. (I know what ur thinking pjuppy love etc hear me out). She said she did like me as more than a friend but she said she had a boyfriend. At first I was crestfallen then realized its highschool. Relationships come and go. I could wait it out. Fast forward a year. I go to jail for a month for a stupid crime shoplifting. Stupid me. I get out and go back to school finaly. She sees me in the hall runs up and starts hugging me to death saying how much she missed me etc. I find out the next day she is now single. I'm happy maybe some good will come. I find out the day after that she is now dating my best friend. I'm crushed. But ever the gentlemen I tell her I'm happy for them and especially him. I say he's a lucky man. In the middle of the crowded lunch room she gets offended by that last statement and says loudly "just because I was single dosent mean I would ever date you." Dead silence in the entire lunch room. All eyes on me. I'm so embarresed and devestated I can't stand it. I just don't understand. Am I not worthy? Am I ugly or stupid. What the hell is wrong? I'm just done with it all. I'm done trying. I give up
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Welcome to SF, I am glad you found us and hope the chance to talk helps some.

    Sounds like a truly crap day and I can understand why it would upset you. But she is not worth it, even if she did say she liked you a little but once. If she did than so will others. I have no idea wht she felt the need to say that out loud so everybody could here but if I was guessing it was because she already has a boyfriend and everybody had just seen her hugging on you and it suddenly occurred to her that would cast her in a poor light so she panicked and decided to "fix" her mistake. That is all guess but seems pretty possible.

    Get your head back into school to try to do well for the little that remains this year and let that and the jail thing become history and not the "thing" to talk about. So far as being a loner - if you are okay with it then don't worry about it - if you want more social interactions then there are ways to try and accomplish that.

    Take Care

    - Ben
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