Hi, I'm new...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Numbly, Sep 20, 2007.

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  1. Numbly

    Numbly New Member

    Guess a little about me would be the thing to do, but I've never been one to share info about myself... Always been a listener and a giver of advice, never sought much for myself.

    I'm not in a good place right now, I've sought professional help and felt it didn't help so I walked away. I've been depressed and had suicidal thoughts most of my life. I've never felt I fit in, anywhere. I'm shy and quiet but am always able to make friends easily, though I shy away from them in times like this.

    I've self harmed, done half assed attempts at suicide, made plans that weren't going to fail (and had them foiled by my friends before I could carry them out, thankfully).

    I do feel better when I'm with small groups of friends, they distract me from myself just enough. Earning a living is currently the hardest thing for me though. I never finished college, and the only skills I have are hard to apply to the working world.

    It's been a long time since I was 'ok', at that time I was in a technical college studying robotics, working full time at a restaurant and was in the Canadian Military reserves. I loved the military but couldn't continue in my chosen career path due to bad ankles.

    Which leads me to today sitting at home, ankles hurting again for the first time in years, desperatly needing the money I should be earning at work right now.... and hating myself for being so 'weak'

    Yay, I managed to say stuff, go me. :smile:
     
  2. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    Go Numbly :cheer:​
     
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    well done hun for anaging to share that with us i hope u find support here at SF and a big :welcome::grouphug:look forward to seeing u around the site tc
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Welcome to SF. Hope you find what you are lookin for here :hug:
     
  5. Christianv2

    Christianv2 Well-Known Member

    Well its good that you were able to open up a little bit,
    Hopefully it makes you feel better. Money isn't everything in my opinion, I feel it really has no impact on us for the very reason that we as humans all have the feeling that is "We want what we cant have" People who are millionaires wish they could be normal people and poor people wish they had money, you can apply that prinicipal to just about anything in my opinion, so dont worry about it, Try and focus on certain goals you want to accomplish and what you have to do to get there. Hope everything is well.
     
  6. chewie93

    chewie93 Member

    It's great that you were able to take the step of joining the forum. Thanks so much for sharing. That first step is always the hardest. Hope you find the support you need here.
     
  7. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    hi numbly
    great to meet u yesterday
    hope to speak soon
    hug
     
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