Hi, I'm new...

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by HalfBlind, Apr 15, 2008.

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  1. HalfBlind

    HalfBlind Active Member

    My name is John. I’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia, Schizoid personality disorder, and major depression, and I have a very difficult time trusting others, I as though they’re all going to abandon or betray me at some point in the future. I live in a “happy” redneck infested town called Billings, where nothing interesting happens. And I guess one could say I live the “Gothic” (Gothic sounds like a type of coffee, to me anyway) lifestyle, which means I have an unnatural obsession with the macabre, I also like to stare at people in ways that make them nervous (sometimes they stare back which bothers me more than them, it seems). I work as a sales person at a guitar shop, and I’m the vocalist and the bass player in a Darkwave band called “Statix”. I don’t like large crowds, mainly because I sometimes lose control of myself, I start screaming, crying, cursing, or running, or all at the same time. But for reason, I can perform with my band and remain calm in front of people. I like to relax by having a cup of tea with French vanilla creamer, a blueberry muffin, a good book, while listening to one of my favorite bands: The Cure, Siouxsie and the Banshees, or the Cruxshadows. And my favorite word is either dream or squirrel… anyway, the reason the I've joined this forum is because in the past five months I've made several suicide attempts, and with every failed attempt I just feel worse... all I've done is prove what I've wanted other to disbelieve...
  2. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums!

    I'm glad that you are here with us.

    Squirrels are amazing, I have to say.
  3. Corieh Infected

    Corieh Infected Well-Known Member

    Woohoo, yah, hi, Welcome. =)

    I'm Corie, PM if you ever need anything.

    Though, I've already scared you.. >>;

    Have fun in the forums!!
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum John x
  5. Dying_Dreams

    Dying_Dreams Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome
  6. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF, John. :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :welcome:
  8. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum John. I am quite familiar with Billings as I grew up there. You think it is a redneck community with very little activity you should try some of the small towns around your state. Billings has quite a variety compared to them. :laugh: I hope to see you around the site.
  10. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member

    welcome john!
    if you ever need someone to talk to, you are welcomed to PM me anytime :]
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