Hi! Level 90 Lurker here.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Lunar90, Aug 12, 2014.

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  1. Lunar90

    Lunar90 New Member


    I'm not really sure what am I supposed to write here, introductions aren't something I'm good at, or have much experience at it anyways. But I will try! Trying sounds good... right?

    Anyways. You can call me Lunar90 for now. It isn't my usual nick, but it should work. Maybe considering the topics here, it is even better that I use a different one. Not like I would have anyone tracking me or anything. Sadly part of my original nick contained a stupid english slang for something inappropriate, but I guess that can't be helped, humans have way to many vulgar expressions. : \

    Uhmm... so, while I will mostly lurk around here, I might post from time to time. I'm not really sociable IRL, but I can manage on forums and in MMOs just fine. Though I hate voice comms, and telephones even more! Telephones are evil!

    And no, I don't act like this IRL. That would be silly, wouldn't be it?
    I think so anyway. Not like I could bring me to act like this IRL actually...

    But this is why the net is a wonderful place (sometimes).
    IRL? I can't bring myself to talk to strangers, or even to ask a little favor from my family members. I have some issues with creating "meaningful/lasting bonds" to others. Mostly I'm only listening to the conversation of others, and contemplating in myself how can they love drama so much, and how they humans can be so stupid. And yup, I have a bad habit of talking about others as "humans", and sadly I do that IRL too...
    In comparison to them I'm like water, avoiding any unnecessary drama, trying to blend in and "lurking".

    Some basics:
    - Age: 24
    - Currently studying as "Civil Engineer". 3rd year. My studies are "fine". I excel at math/logic heavy classes, like physics/languages/math/material science. But I dislike boring stuff like road development, and classes with trivial but extremely time consuming "homework". I have a sweet spot for wood and steel.
    - Most people consider me lucky/smart, as my academic results are great. But IMHO they are superficial idiots, I would give half my brains away, for a more "normal" life.
    - Had to take a 2 year break from my studies for financial reasons. It had it's ups and downs. My employes liked me, but I was always considered the "Teacher's Pet". On the bad side, I had to realize how I had no idea what to do with my life.
    - I like dogs/wolves/MLP/nightcore/goth rock/daydreaming/tea. Loads of tea.

    So uhmmm... why am I here?
    Nothing serious, like others, mot likely.
    I just feel like life is completely pointless. I'm alone, I'm unhappy, and I can't change. I tried changing for years, but it was all in vain. So it just feels like I'm forcing myself to survive from day to day, for no reason. Nothing will change for the better. And this sucks.
    On the good side, I do have a dog. It is kind of silly, but I can't leave he alone.
    I might suck at "being a human", but I'm not that bad of a person.
  2. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    The main reason people come here is because they are thinking about some aspect of suicide, perhaps even planning to do it. If that's why you're here, then you're in the right place.

    I hope you feel welcome here. You deserve the best in life.
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Welcome to SF and feel free to lurk or contribute as you like. The social issues you describe are fairly commonplace around here as is the loss of interest in life/daily activities (which is a symptom of depression - many people with depression do not feel "sad" all the time so they never seek help but the inability to find interest or pleasure in life is the same symptom diagnostically- something to consider).
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