Hi level depression

:sad: I've just split up with my wife because of some friends that I've fallen out with telling her that I was sleeping around - even though I wasn't!

My wife threatened to throw me out of the house and stop me seeing my children, and I lost my temper, hit her and got arrested and bailed to stay away from her. My life with her wasn't good, so I was feeling down all the time, but ever since I haven't seen her, I really miss her and have been grieving for my old life back.

I feel worse than ever now; life gets worse by the day. I always hated men who hit women, but now I am one, I feel sorry for them! I've never ever been this sad, suicidal and repulsed at myself ever! I am in constant grieving pain, I don't eat and I've lost 2 stone in 2 weeks. I hate going to work and I hate coming home to my flat alone. There's just no uppers left, I have no money, I've lost all my friends, I hardly see my 2 little boys and step-daughter.

I never realised how much I loved my wife until this all happened. I was cruel to her, told her I hated her and how I've wasted my life with her. I meant it at the time, but now I feel that she was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I keep looking off the scaffolding at work and feeling that there was an end to all this pain inside at the bottom. I've also been feeling like cutting my arms open with a padsaw.

Has this ever happened to anyone else here? Suicidal feelings are new to me, but they are very strong.hmy:

 

Have you sent her a letter stating all this? And some flowers to show you do care. You might want to think about therapy for the two of you so you can get a different view to what is wrong with your marriage. If you love her then get off your butt and show her. If you keep sitting there procrastinating nothing is going to happen!! We are here to offer you support and advice so you do have a support system weather you know it or not. Good Luck and I hope it works out for you!! Also spend more time with your kids so she see's what she is missing also.Take Care!!~Joseph~

 

Everyone makes mistakes... Hitting her once is not the end of the world. Make good and sure you don't do it again, though.

 

Hey Supergalley,
How are things going? Have you talked with your wife and explained that what she was told is not true? If you want your marriage to work you are going to have to put forth the effort. Right now you are the bad guy! Ask her to go to therapy with you and open up with the therapist because they can't help if you don't tell them what is happening.Take care!~Joseph~