I am the spouse of someone (Paul) who tried to commit suicide. I called the police in Canada and they contacted the Ohio police and located him and brought him to safety. He is still has been in hospital for over a week. I have told him I love him and will support him. But, I am having problems on my own and don't have anyone to talk to and don't want to burden him. Our marital problems have been ongoing for 13 years. He doesn't talk to me and now I discovered that he hides himself in a room and drinks. His work threatened to fire him. He remembers the abuse in his family and it is all coming up now. He has told everyone that I am not to blame. When I called his family to tell them what was happening, they said "it is all your fault". When I looked to my friends and told them that I would make sure that Paul was safe but that I couldn't handle being with him right now until he gets some help, they stopped talking to me. My brother has called me a bitch. When Paul was thinking of killing himself, he called his friend to say good-bye and say that he loved him. He didn't call me. Neither when he tried this a few months ago. I feel very very selfish. But, I am confused. I am trying to keep the house going, dealing with his employers, going to work, fought with the insurance company to get coverage, and I am doing this all alone. I have no person that I can lean on. I am protecting my mother. When Paul is released, I have offered to move out of the house because I want him to know that this is not a property thing. I am not fighting for possessions. He has the ultimate in care: his family, his friends, the doctors. I want him to get the best, but in the meantime I am angry at being blamed and judged and criticized and being expected to be strong and never say anything about what I need. What I need is my husband to rely on himself and live up to his responsibilities without my having to mother him. I cannot do it anymore. It has been 13 years of my babysitting him making sure that he gets his work done on time. He has a good job and has been shirking his duties (not his fault, but because of fear of failure) for years. I cannot carry the load anymore.
The big question: when he is released from the hospital, am I selfish to ask that we live apart? His family will judge very quickly and sadly, so will my friends.. any thoughts? Thanks
The big question: when he is released from the hospital, am I selfish to ask that we live apart? His family will judge very quickly and sadly, so will my friends.. any thoughts? Thanks
