Hi, my intro to SF

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by shadowspace, Sep 24, 2015.

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  1. shadowspace

    shadowspace New Member

    I suffer from long term depression, anxiety, OCD, thoughts of suicide, and attachment disorder. I have been seeing therapist for over 10 years and have been on medication for these issues for around 10 years.
    I have been married for 17 years, and have a daughter about to turn 4 years old.
    I just turned 40 this year.
    I am here because I want to be happy in life. Right now if feels like I am still alive only because i keep hoping to be able to see life as something I want and not something I have to do.

    More to come about me, but this should be enough for an introduction
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi shadowspace, thank you for your introduction and for joining SF. I hope you can find support for what you are going through and find friendship along the way :) I'm sorry you see life as a task, but hopefully that can be turned around and you can be happy in life and enjoy it.
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Welcome to SF , I am glad you found us. Hopefully you will find some support when you feel you need it, as well as share some tips for coping on occasion with others based on your years of experience in dealing with these issues.

    You deserve to be and to heel happy instead of like you are just existing - I think that i sa goal many of us have and find on occasion for various amounts of time before things return to the "existence only" mode. I do believe thta possibility exists for you, or at least so that there are more good days than bad so it seems worthwhile and I hope you stick around and talk and help us all find ways to so that and improve things for you,for your sake and your daughters.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum, I'm glad you decided to join us here. We all look out for one another and help when possible. I also suffer with anxiety, when you say attachment issues do you mean like borderline personality disorder. Remember to keep the chin up for yourself and your little girl!! Again, welcome!!
  5. shadowspace

    shadowspace New Member

    Thank you for the warm welcome.
    The attachment disorder is sort like relationship are not that important to me. If I understand correctly my loving wife and daughter should mean the world to me. They do not. They are important to me, but if they could find another man to help them, than I could leave and the fear, anxiety, worry, and thinking behind. And finally be at piece. I have good people skills. I might say some things that maybe should not have been said, but it is forgiven. I am honest, loyal, dependable. But have not a single close friend of my own. I am friend with the people wife is friends with, but it is through her. I just don't. Keep up with friends to keep lasting relationships.
    People tend to like me and like to open up to me, but I am mostly an introvert.
    I am an only child. We lived in the country and not many kids around. So when I came home from school there were no neighborhood or other kinds to play with. I learned to entertain myself, read books, video games. I would play board games and chess with my parents as often as I could.

    I have also also been dealing with anxiety since I was around 13. I started reading self help books. Started trying breathing and meditation techniques to try to deal with the anxiety.
    I cannot remember every really knowing of what I wanted to do in life. I did good in school , because my parents encouraged me and that is what a good kid does. I went to college because that is what u do after high school. I went picked my field not by wanting to do it, but by taking test, reading up , and trying to find what a person good in what I was good in would go to college.
    I have mostly wondered through life with the goals to better myself, but no real direction or destination. My wife is the one who gets me to have goals and help me decide what to do with my life.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi and to say no one no one can replace you not in your wifes heart or your childs you will always be the one they love and need
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