HI.... My Long and Boring story?

[Mikev2005]

Hi everyone I'm mike, this isnt gonna be short but if you read it all then thanks lol, i have a "problem" apparently im here only cos my family are making me get as much support as possible. Basically my life has been shit from the moment i enetered this world, I was born with a disease and it has made me look like a freak. I had an abusive father was picked on at all stages of education. I have made 3 suicide attemps since i was 13, currently on citalopram but they dont work. The only good thing thats happened to me was my girlfriend maggie, but i managed to mess that relationship up so she left but not before cheating on me.

Sure im depressed and sure my life has been/is shitty but that's not why i want to go. Has anyone here had an Out of body experience? I have, been having them for about 2 years theres more to life than this empty shell of flesh, I want to explore beyond this life, this life is just a ride and im bored of this one i want to go on another ride, i have no use for this body, for this brain, for this 'life.' Why keep something you dont want? Sure everyone says life is precious, I had a expensive vase once, it smashed into pieces, did i keep it? of course not, I couldn't fix it so what was the point in keeping it? its the same with my life theres no reason to keep it its in peices. I have had doctors, family, friends even a preist (im not kidding) tell me its the wrong path to take. I know this is what i need.

Why is everyone so afraid of death? Its gonna find you one day of another the only difference with me is im >choosing< to to end mine, the only reason ive not left this body yet is because my gran has just died and its hit my nan pretty hard so i'm holding of untill she gets help then im off!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Anyway Hi!!

 

[tbs]

Hi Mike and welcome to the forum.

 

[Puddytat]

:sup:

 

[Beret]

:welcome: to SF

 

[gentlelady]

:welcome: to SF. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope you are able to find comfort here. :hug:

 

[Mikev2005]

im sorry but its too late i only joined here to satisfy my family, its too late ive took about <mod edit-methods>im not gonna wake up tommorow im sorry guys. im glad i found this forum though it made me smile if only for a while... good luck to everyone.... get help dont take the path of darkness like i have.

 

[gentlelady]

I hope you do wake up in the morning and it is not too late for you. I wish you would give us a chance. Please seek medical attention. OD is not foolproof and you could end up worse off than you think you are now.

 

[*dilligaf*]

I came to welcome, maybe I'm too late

 

[Mikev2005]

It's been nearly a month now obviously my attempt failed, spent a few days in hospital then another few in a mental health clinic all i maged to do was kill one of my kidneys, ODing is not the way to go i took a large amount and i still didnt go and im not talking box standard painkillers. Now im getting 'help' im being forced 'happy pills' and being watched 24/7 i feel worse than what i did before i tried to OD. Time for a change of plan i think. these pills are just making me confused

 

[lost_soul]

mike, i for one am glad to see you are still here and :welcome: back.
i hope you get the help you need. i took citalopram for a while and it wasn't working for me either. talk to your p-doc and get your meds regulated and wrking correct.
feel free to pm or IM me anytime
take care

 

[TheGlamorous]

Why keep something you dont want? Sure everyone says life is precious, I had a expensive vase once, it smashed into pieces, did i keep it? of course not, I couldn't fix it so what was the point in keeping it?

There are many vases out there to buy. Vases are disposable and easy to come across. Life, on the other hand, is indispensable.

You come across the only vase in the world. It is unique in that it is original and meaningful. The vase gets cracked by virtue of prolonged pain.

If the choice is yours to throw it out or, try as hard as you must to fix it. After-all, it is better to hold dear the original vase if not for it's sheer audacity but for it's memories, it's good times, and for what it still is. The only vase in the whole wide world.

:hug:

 

[A Self Made Loser]

I was just going to ask if anyone knows of any good tablets I could OD on for instant death (Peace) but then realised after my first attempt and hearing and reading of many other people who have tried, most if almost all will be unsuccessful in their bid for release. You end up coming worse off at times too. I was lucky, near to 80 tablets and not a dam thing happen to me, at the time I was upset but I would end stayin alive in even more of a messed up shape.