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Hi...My story

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TeaBee, May 5, 2013.

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  1. TeaBee

    TeaBee New Member

    Don't really know how to start but..
    I feel guilty about my thoughts of suicide (mostly because of religion...but I find myself questioning that and it scares me)
    I had an ok life but wanted to better it so I took a risk and left my comfort zone
    The risk didn't pan out and my life is very depressing.
    I had to move back in with family and work a part-time job I don't like
    Going back to school put me in debt and that just made the depression worse
    I got diagnosed with an arrhythmia and seeing a doctor is very expensive
    I can't find a job in my degree field
    And its like everyday I think of letting go
    I got really down the other day and set and date and wrote a letter
    I trashed the letter right away but the fact that I wrote it scares me
    I don't have any friends or family that I know would keep our talks between us for long
    So I came here...
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hi TeaBee. Sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope using this site helps. It can make it easier to talk to someone irl, a help line possibly or as you mention your faith there may be a church counselling service. I'm glad you reached out, kind regards.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi TeaBee sorry you are so down right now depression it hurts i get that much. I am glad you are seeing a doc hun Are you on meds for your depression or are you getting any kind of therapy I hope you continue to talk to us here It helps to know you are not alone Hugs to you
  4. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    Questioning your faith is not unusual in depression. Been there myself. Depression tends to take everything away that makes us happy. But try to hang on to your faith. Reconnect by attending church/synagogue, etc. It might help.

    Sometimes we make choices that don't work out the way we had hoped. But that doesn't mean that we are down for the count. We just have to pick up the pieces, and try something else.

    I also have health issues, and I know how expensive medical care can be. I don't know where you are located, but perhaps you can find a low cost clinic that can treat you, or perhaps you are eligible for government help?

    As far as having to move back home, there are a lot of people who are being put in that position. The economy sucks, to put it mildly, and it's making people make tough choices, like living with family, jobs we don't like, etc. But that doesn't mean it will be that way forever. It's just temporary, so try to hold on.

    I sure wish you luck in finding way to make your life what you want.
  5. TeaBee

    TeaBee New Member

    Thank you all for your replies.
    I am working on myself everyday.
    Its a struggle but I still know I don't want to die....It just seems like a easy way out from bad times.
    I'm looking into therapy and my options I have health insurance through my job but not sure it covers that.
    Katrina I didn't know questioning your faith and depression were commonly linked...makes me think how long I've actually been depressed
    Again thanks all
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