Hi. New and wondering if anyone has my problem

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Susanne, Dec 11, 2011.

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  1. Susanne

    Susanne New Member

    Hi. I'm a stay at home mother of two. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in the past. Recently I am having chronic pain. All tests come back normal. I had this problem two years ago as well. I'm now having these pains for the last three months. Pain will shift from chest pain and then terrible stomach pains and the headache that does not go away. I'm trying my best to get over it and started therapy but the pain continues and I am so depressed. My husband can't take it anymore and thinks I'm being selfish which only makes me more depressed. My pain stops us from going out as a family and takes a toll on everyone. I think suicide is the only way out. I think about it a lot. I think my family would be better off without me. They would mourn but then be able to have more fun. If the pain and the fear of the pain would go away, I don't hint I would be so depressed. Is it selfish not to committ suicide. I'm sure my husband is thinking divorce and that would cost money that would better go to my family. I'm scared to do it but the pain scares me. It hurts so much at times.

    I should mention that this all started again on the one year anniversary of my father's death. I cared for him while he had cancer and my first panic attacks happened when he was diagnosed.

    Anyone have pain but all tests normal. Also tried ssri anti- depressants but they just mde me really suicidal
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I have had pain in my back for ever had every test nothing found so my pain in my abdomen nothing found stress i guess anxiety maybe but i have given up trying to see specialist now and just learn to cope with pain I hope you continue to fight hun to find the cause of your pain hugs
  3. BeingMe

    BeingMe Well-Known Member

    I read somewhere that when you cant express stress or emotions or you're holding a lot in, it can come out physically.
    I use to get migraines from when i was stressed or when i was really worried i would literally make myself sick.

    Suicide is never the answer, its a permanent fix for a temporary problem.

    If this all started on the anniversary of you dads passing then my guess is that was your trigger, but dont forget he may be gone but he will always be in your heart so long as you remember him.

    No family is better off without a mother or a wife but unfortunately for some they dont get to choose, whereas you do.
    Your husband needs to realise that your not being selfish (because your not) its a medical condition, no one wants it, it just happens.

    I can suggest a few things but without knowing more about you itd be hard to figure what will work with you.

    Exercise - going jogging or just running up and down the stairs for ten minutes will release endorphins( a natural antidepressant)
    Counselling - not a Psychiatrist but someone with adequate training to know how to help you and generally listen to what you have to say.
    Antidepressants - There are lots of these on the market and just because one doesnt work for you doesnt mean another wont.

    these are just a few and i could make a long list but without knowing more its hard to suggest more.

    I'm so glad you came here though and maybe with the help of other you can learn to handle your depression and get rid of those pains.

    I wish you the best of luck :hug:
  4. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm not a stay at home parent so I can't relate on that level but I can relate in some ways to unexplained pains. For the past three or so years I've been getting pains similar to what you described. Sometimes, it's headaches and sometimes, it's muscle aches or really bad stomach aches - usually, it's really bad chest pains. I've been to the doctor about it, but they never find anything "wrong". Earlier this year (must have been April or something), the chest pains got so bad that I could barely move. My friend forced me to go to the ER (I hate hospitals, the wait is far longer than I like). When I got there, I was in obvious pain - the nurses were kind but the doctor? Treated me like a complete idiot. Pretty much told me it was all "in my head" (in some ways, he might be right, but not the way he meant it) and gave me a prescription to Tylenol which was just a band-aid to the problem. My mom told me shortly thereafter that such unexplained pains aren't unheard of in people with depression and similar mental illnesses. The stress just builds up and builds up. Talking about it sometimes helps me. Sometimes. When I went to the ER, it got so bad it felt like a minor heart attack. Thinking back, I think I know why now (but I didn't then) and that was because I was grieving and away from home and I think I was literally pining away. Stress, depression, all those things we hold in... will sometimes manifest themselves physically. I'm sorry if it seems I rambled, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

    Suicide definitely isn't the answer and no family is better off without either parent. If you ever need to talk about anything, we're here to listen. Welcome to the forum and I hope you stick around.
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