I talked to the suicide hotline today, but still can't fight the urge to read all about suicide, it's methods, make a plan, etc... I came upon this site in my searching. My planned date isn't for 6+ months, but I'm feeling real bad now, I'm not sure I can last 6 months, or 6 days for that matter. I have never "self harmed" (unless you consider a suicide attempt?). I'm wondering if that would make me feel better. It seems to work for some people, even though I don't quite understand that concept. I think I'll research that next.