Hi...new here

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Matthew123, Jul 22, 2015.

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  1. Matthew123

    Matthew123 Member

    I dont know where to start. I am not really happy about posting here. I am sad that it has come to this. Meaning, actually going to a site like this. I am scared to say the least. Dont know exactly how to channel the extreme depression that I am in. I just want it to be over.

    I am 43 and have just about given up on most things. Family, friends, job. I dont find any joy anymore in anything. I struggle just to make it through another day. The pain is so great. Yes, I am depressed. I have been struggling with this most my life. I have had good years but the cycle always continues. I have tried meds only to be made manic. I never would of thought it would take so much energy just to get through a day. PAIN...is all I can say right day. Pain.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi and welcome to SF. I'm sorry the pain you're in is so intense. :(
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Matthew, welcome to SF. I hope we can lessen your pain with support and friendship.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you did reach out here this place is on of understanding not judgmental I hear you i do dam depression takes everything away it seems. I know you say you have tried meds but if it made you manic then it was wrong medication for you You talk to a specialist and get help to get on right meds If you do not want to go that route again then a therapist can help you through some of the depression and deal with it better Keep talking here ok you wont feel so alone here and sometimes just writing out the pain here decreases the sadness a little as well
  5. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I think I can speak for all of us when I say we hope you get better. If you need help just ask one of us when we're not in distress. We like to help each other out here.
  6. Jonsey

    Jonsey Well-Known Member

    Hello Matthew,

    Welcome to SF. You made the right choice for support. We're here to listen.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to SF matthew =) x
  8. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm 43 as well and in intense psychological pain. I never used to be, but my illness has taken over my life and ruined everything for me. I'm really scared of the way that my brain is too. I always had it together before, but now I don't and it's really frightening.
  9. Matthew123

    Matthew123 Member

    I seriously thank you all for taking the time to post. I am so confused anymore where my responsibilbiy in all of this lies. It is so difficult just to get up and walk outside my door. On one hand, I just want to throw in the towel and turn my back on everything. However, in doing that it only makes things worse. By doing so, I just add to my problems by neglecting my responsibilites and than as a result increase my anxiety even more. I know I am suffering but the world is not going to stop and wait for me to catch up. I have used alcohol lately to cope. It does work temporarily. It is my only solice. Trust me I dont want to drink. However, it truly is the only thing that gives me temporary relief from the flames.
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