Hiya, I am new here to this site. I was going to post in the introductions forum, but I know whatever I will say would be most appropriate here instead. Sorry in advance.... this is a long ramble :unsure: I wish I could sort out my problems, but I don't feel like I can anymore. I think that I will end up killing myself very soon, and I've been close to doing it for ages. I know I should probably keep it to myself, but for some reason I just need to get that kind of thing out. I feel so sad. Ironically I'm helping my friend get into hospital for depression asap. But I don't think that would help for me. I've been in and out of therapy for a few years now, to no avail. Nothing wrong with the counsellors, they are all great people. I think it is just time for me to go now. I'd never try to involve anyone else in my suicide, and yet... for some reason... I don't want to be alone! I pretend to be pretty tough, even though I'm a girl lol. I pretend that nothing really bothers me and yet I'm petrified to die alone. I want to do it, but I just wish that it wouldn't have to be by myself :blub: I've read about a million methods and I would never do anything that I felt was not totally SURE to work.... and I have picked the way that I think is best (of course, I wouldnt write it down here) and I have most of the things I need. I feel so hopeless, but I always told myself if I ever get SERIOUS again I will either set myself a certain task, or wait 2 weeks. If I still feel the same then I will feel less guilty about doing it. Before, the task was to read an informative book about suicide. I lost the book lol. Now... the task is to wait til next counselling session and be honest there. That is next week. I want to be SURE. I have put these 'safeguards' in place.... so I guess we will see how the next week turns out.... :blink: I needed to get that out... thanks.