Hi Hamburger and welcome to SF. I'm sorry that you're finding things tough right now, but I'm glad you found us. This site is full of some amazing people who genuinely care and support each other so I hope being here will help you.
Like others have said, your strategy of trying to breathe out the negativity is a good one. Do you practice mindfulness? It's something I find really helpful in focusing the mind and relaxing.
Anyway, keep on talking to us. We're always here to listen and support as best we can.