First off I am posting on my phone so please forgive me any spelling mistakes. My name is Ron. I'm 50 a widower. My wife died 7 years ago in a car crash with our Beautiful daughter India, she was 5 years old. I have been struggling with suicide thoughts For a year now. They get stronger all the time. I have tried the Samaritans and I do use them What I hope to get from this forum is support and encouragement. I hope to make A few friends as well. I've shut myself away from people and I don't go out much. In fact the furthest I've been in 5 Years Is down to the shops. I find myself in a rut and I have been getting a few dreams about my wife. She is beckoning me to cross over and join her and India. But I'm scared to do it, as I don't really know what is on the Other side, if there is one. Love it when I'm asleep. That's the time I feel nothing and its great. I hope to get to know you all and talk. I think this is the best way to deal with negative thoughts. So you will have to forgive me as I am on my phone, and navigating is quite hard. Ron.