Hi - really struggling

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Malaras, Oct 25, 2012.

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  1. Malaras

    Malaras New Member

    The mental issues i can not bare anymore.

    All the dad's that i've ever known are assholes.

    I refer to myself as a guy, rather than a man due to the fact of not having a real father. Granite mystep father did provid houseing and such. But that mearly just money.

    The best father i consider was my uncle due the fact that he did stuff with me. He tought me things, but due to the stress/depression/anxity i can't remember much.

    And the way i'm it ISN'T my fault i don't know why i'm the way i'm. I just know it isn't my fault but it seems people blame for the way i'm. Or just clearly don't understand. Or just don't beleave me. The people that truly knew me may understand, but maybe not.

    But either way i can not bare it anymore, thier is no peace of mind any where it seems that i'm able to go.

    No one seems to understand how hard / exhausting it is to be me.

    To me it seems like no one understands how i feel, the hurt the pain the anguish that i go through every day. But i have the ability to cover it up well it seems.

    The price i would pay/things i would do to feel loved, wanted. Are limitless to me.

    I can't describe whats going on in my mind i have no words for it.

    The threats. The people that just hate me, with out truly knowing me.

    I've pretty much been crying for the last 2-3 days.

    I just can't take it anymore.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2012
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Malaras, I sent you a PM. I can sense how much pain and sadness you seem to be feeling. I'm sorry things are really hard for you right now.

    So many members here have gone through so many experiences, you are bound to find people that relate and who will offer you support.

    I know that depression magnifies our bad feelings - we think people don't want us, our faults are huge and many, people seem to be blaming us, we can't concentrate, we sleep and cry a lot.

    Have you sought help from any professionals? A trip to your family doc/GP can rule out physical things that mimic depression. GP can also prescribe anti-depressants to take off the edge of our feelings so we think clearly enough to find life-affirming solutions. GP might refer you to a therapist - someone to talk to who is ON your side from the start.

    Please stay safe. Please keep posting. I know you will find friends and support here. :hug:
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey, sorry that you are going through this.

    how old are you? if you are living with a family member, could you live with someone else? maybe your uncle?

    hopefully you can connect with some people and find the love you are looking for. pets are also a great source of love

    today outside a bank, there was a dog in someone's car, with the windows rolled down a bit. I let the dog sniff my hand, and then I pet it through the window. it licked my hand

    little things, even just being near happy people can help make you happier

    oh, also please take a look at the link in my sig if you like!

    hope that things can get better soon!
  4. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Malaras,
    Sorry you are feeling low at the moment, affected by your fathers. Maybe counselling might help.
    Will help talking and posting about.
    Take Care
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I did not have a father around either hun i am sorry noone understands your in pain unless they have felt depression they wont understand hun Good news is hun there is help ok
    so please hun reach out for some support some meds therapy whatever ok you deserve that happiness and compassion hun hugs
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