Hi There, I'm Heather and I'm new here-nice to meet you all

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Heather7, Jul 7, 2015.

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  1. Heather7

    Heather7 New Member

    I'm Heather. I don't really know how to do this or what to do, but I joined yesterday as a desperate means to search for sanity, I guess. I cant turn to anyone, for various reasons, but I have such a hard time leaning on people anyhow, I don't even know that I would. I guess I don't want people who know me to know how truly screwed up I feel. ...and that maybe I would find better understanding of me and guidance from others through this forum.

    For all intents and purposes, I have so much going for me, which makes me feel worse. Who am I to feel this way when so many others are suffering greater?

    How do I get out of the slump of feeling like I am a loser and all alone even when surrounded by people who "love" me?

    Thoughts and guidance are so appreciated....
  2. Citizen Insane

    Citizen Insane Staff Member Safety & Support SF Author SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome Heather7. :)

    As a member of 4 years here, I'm confident you'll find the support and knowledge you are looking for here on this forum.

    I can understand why you prefer not to turn to people in your direct environment. Not everyone is able to understand it, what you are going through.
    It's a strength to not ask for help, but I say this: At some point in our lives we are going to need support, either during birth and growing up or at old age... for some it's a lifetime of needing support.

    It's very good that you are open to new ideas and to guidance from others to help understand yourself better.

    About why we feel the way we do, even if we know that others are in deeper suffering.. I can give an example:
    Let's say a person have a fever, that's a couple degrees too high for comfort, but not that high that it threatens their life.
    At that moment, the brain is registering all the information it receives from the body. The body and all of its senses being the only thing you can feel and process while ill.

    Now if someone told me, while I was having a really bad fever: "Hey, you can feel better if you think about the fact that other people are out there right now, people that have a worse fever than you."

    That doesn't make me feel better, because my own experience is always valued higher than that of others. Just how the brain is connected to my own body, and not to other peoples bodies.

    If something hurts to me, for like a 7, on a scale of 1 to 10. Just knowing that others have a pain worth an 8 or a 9 doesn't make my pain go away in any way. Even for mental pains.

    When you are suffering, it is important. And I'm glad you found this forum and are looking for solutions.
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey Heather, welcome to the forum :hug:

    Just like Citizen Insane said above, whatever you are feeling is justified and you can always seek out support for it here. It's hard to compare how two different people are feeling, regardless of the circumstances. It depends on a lot more than that and I don't think it's fair to place one person's problems before somebody else. That's why here at SF, everyone is valued and everyone can receive the support of other members. You have as much right to have these feelings as the next person, don't let anyone tell you your problems are too small or not worthy of attending to :)

    I'm not sure how you can get out of the slump you are in. Do you speak to your doctor about how you are feeling? That would be a great first step if you haven't already. Write again soon please and let us know how you are doing.

  4. Heather7

    Heather7 New Member

    Thank you for responding. Ive checked this forum a few times anticipating your responses. I have to say, it is getting worse. I just don't want to be here anymore. I just had a talk w my live-in boyfriend about breaking up. I am pushing him away, but I don't blame him for feeling a relief in me bringing up the conversation. I don't even want to live with me, I can understand how he doesn't either. I am at the end of my rope. Im afraid to die and yet, I am in so much emotional pain living. I need strength. I dont have it. I feel so alone. i really need help
  5. Citizen Insane

    Citizen Insane Staff Member Safety & Support SF Author SF Supporter

    Do you know the cause and/or trigger of why you feel the way you do at this moment?
    Like, did something happen in the past or recently that made you experience these dark feelings?

    It's a very bad place to be in emotionally, the way you feel now... I'll offer my support in these dark times. Be safe, you have endured a lot of emotional pain and you need to recover and get better.

    Speaking for myself, when I was at the break point of my sanity, I ended up asking for professional help. First at a regular doctor and then I was referred to a psychologist & psychiatrist.
    It sometimes is the last resort for people: Going to a doctor and asking for help; either because of stigma, not wanting to take medication for mental health problems or other reasons like the country a person is in has no sufficient help.

    But that is what I recommend in this situation, but I might need more information about the situation you are in first. I recommend seeking for the resources in your area, but you will need a referral from your General Practicioner doctor.

    If you are at the end of your rope, what I described here above this; is a solution... a path that can only lead to less suffering and less dark feelings.

    Enduring the strong feelings of depression is not leading to that path. Seeking out help in your environment will lead to it, but you'll need to consider what the options are from the point of view of your situation. :hug:
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Please be safe and take care. Please be free to PM me anytime. I know you suffering but please remember we are here to help you to get through this period of your life.
  7. Heather7

    Heather7 New Member

    Thank you to each of you. I am holding my breath, actually. Trying not to fall apart. I lost my job a year ago. I have literally run out of money. My live in boyfriend has decided he wants to see other people, but maybe still live here, he isn't sure. He doesn't 'really' believe in monogamy anymore. He and his daughter have become my world this past year. He doesn't abuse me, he just doesn't really love me...and I take what I can get because my self esteem has become so low. I'm on the verge of losing my home (and now) my family. I am studying for a licensing exam that I just cannot concentrate on. There is a job I can get if I pass, but I don't have the energy or focus to do it. I am on wellbutrin and Cymbalta. I have been for years. I really don't think I can handle anything anymore. I just want to sleep and not wake up. I am ruining everything and feel hopeless to do anything about it.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Heather and welcome to SF. Hope you will like it here :)
  9. Concrete_Angel

    Concrete_Angel Forum Buddy

    Hello Heather, nice to meet you I am Kayleigh :) hope you find the support you are looking for here :)
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Heather, please do not worry. You need remain focus by sticking to a daily routine. I know the relationship is broken and no doubt causing you a lot of anxiety. We help you get through on a hour by hour basis. You just need to keep posting here now as it will help you. Things will get better but not overnight. Take the virtual hand we offer and let us help you.
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