Hi there! My name is Mr. B and I'm sad.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by MrB, Dec 7, 2015.

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  1. MrB

    MrB New Member

    Terminally sad. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way here and just wanted to introduce myself and get this first post over with...I registered a few weeks ago and just didn't have the courage to start typing but now I've gotten to the point that if I don't talk about what's going on then I don't know how much more of this I can stand.

    I've had someone I trust with my heart lying to me the past several years, intentionally because they thought that would be easier than the truth. This was the only person in 40+ years that I've ever been able to truly share(childhood abuse etc) everything with and it was wonderful and amazing.

    Since finding out it was all a lie to keep me happy and "writing checks" (figuratively speaking) I have been devastated. Everything I thought I knew and trusted about this person has been wrong...the worst part of it is I can't even get away due to circumstances I can't control. So I have to face this person every.single.day.

    The pain is killing me but any outward expression on my part is met with great hostility...I can tell no one about this I know, there's no one I can trust with even knowing how I feel about this person. I have to keep this facade up and pretend life is ok and I just don't know how much longer I can do that alone.
     
  2. writeanything

    writeanything Member

    Hi MrB,
    I can't possibly imagine what you're going through, and it might be really tough right now, to the point that you contemplate suicide or get depressed. But trust me it'll go away someday. Time really heals. If you stay strong and hold your head up high now, you'll live through it. If you think about it too much when you're doing nothing, find a distraction, a hobby. Do something you love, to get it out of your head. I know it helps for me, I hope it does for you too. Hope you feel better soon..
     
  3. MrB

    MrB New Member

    Thanks, yes I do know it will get better, I've hurt worse in my 40+ years but I had never let anyone get so close to me before...and for the first time in my life I can't get away from this person...what's even worse is they expect me to just move on, like it's no big deal(emotional relationship, not sexual)...If I could only get away from here I could forget all of this in short order. Instead I'm reminded every single day how little this person actually cares and how stupid I was to trust... I thought this was the best thing that had ever happened to me..I was happier than I had been in over 40 years, I thought that maybe, just maybe everything will be ok...Too much...it's just too much.
     
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